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Saturday, January 18, 2014

Women: Put Down that Magazine and Climb Out From the Depths of Hell!

The other day I was in the checkout lane at the grocery store and actually without my brood, so I thought I'd reach out and thumb through a magazine.  Ahhhhh, that was going to be my one-minute escape.  Except that it wasn't an escape into celebrating womanhood, it was an escape into hell I think (hell would be full of liars, right?).  Anyway, my husband and I have been using the "Lose It" app since Christmas to shed a few unwanted middle-age pounds (and it is working by the way!), so I reached out for Redbook because it had a section on the cover related to choosing the right foods.

Upon opening the cover, I was hit with the letter from the editor saying how she wants, "SHE NEVER GAVE UP ON DATE NIGHT" on her tombstone.  Really? I don't know about you, but that's not really the way I want my family and loved ones to remember me….so many other things to put on a tombstone.  She proceeds to inform me that she and her husband are just too busy for their regular date nights, so she found a cute restaurant where they could enjoy breakfast together.  Cute idea, I thought.  But then she said she and her husband had to consult "phone calendars" in order to get this done.  Yuck.  This is where we're at as a society, I thought? And then she slapped me at the end with sending me to an article in the magazine about love stories - one of which included a woman who married an old college friend, got married, and then the college friend realized he was really a "she" on the inside.

Okay, so then I went back to the front and started thumbing through the magazine in its entirety seeing if there was anything redeemable in it.  Pretty much the only good thing between its cover was the one page article covering the food items and how to pick foods smartly - the reason I picked up the magazine.  More than half of the magazine was devoted to promoting make-up, skins creams, clothing, handbags, and shoes.  As I was thumbing through, I realized all the products I don't have or have never even heard of.  I have to admit, I felt a bit of a panic - like I needed to rush out and look for all those products that were going to erase my wrinkles, and smooth out any lumps I've accumulated from eight pregnancies. Yikes! Let's face it.  I am out of the loop!  I needed a new handbag - stat!  And probably one in every color like they suggested!

All of a sudden, it was like someone slapped me  - you know, like Cher slaps Nicholas Cage in "Moonstruck" and says, "snap out of it!"



I closed the magazine, placed it back on the rack and looked down lovingly at my five year old Vera Bradley diaper bag...and fell in love all over again…with that well-worn bag…and with my life.  That diaper bag has served two of my four children and it's still going strong.  It has housed changes of clothes for three children, drinks for three children, snacks for three children, a ziploc of diapers, wipes, and A&D, my wallet, phone, and lipgloss (God forbid it's the same awesome color I picked out all on my very own two years ago) - all at the same time.  It's a workhorse.  My husband even picks it up and carries it with pride when it gets too heavy for me to carry. I don't need more stuff to fill up my life or closets.  I don't need to consult my phone calendar to have a date with my husband to know he loves me.  I would imagine millions of women out there feel the same way I do.  These fashion magazines only serve to make women feel insecure about our looks, our bodies, our fashions, our husbands, and our sex lives.  (heck, one article in there told me I should pick cuter underwear).

Typical women's magazine cover

Your husband should be your best friend and partner in your life.  He should love you to the end.  If you choose right, he will be there to help you with the babies in the middle of the night when one is colicky and the other is vomiting and the others are just up from all the noise.  He will hold your hand and fight for you when you are sick and in the hospital.  He will support the home and the people in it.  He will pick up your handbag when it gets too heavy from transporting all the essentials you need for the life the two of you have created.   I'm sorry to shock so many, but he's NOT YOUR DATE ANYMORE once you get married.  You're not testing the waters and impressing him with the right shade of lipstick (which he never noticed while you were dating anyway - sorry).  Stop putting that pressure on yourself!  Many couples just cannot have date nights - for many different valid reasons.  But that doesn't mean you can't squeeze in some cuddle time every night before you doze off each night.  Let's face it, what better way to fall asleep than in the arms of the love of your life?


My awesome husband holding our 2nd son after an emergency c-section
Women must never forget a few things though.  Rejoice in all the moments and ways your husband IS  there supporting you - daily.  Don't overlook all the late nights he spends with you helping with the house or the bills or the children.  Don't overlook the times he runs to the store to get that one thing you forgot in your grocery store trip.  Don't overlook the fact that he is the one who will be by your side when you give birth cheering you on.  Don't overlook all the times he gets up early on Saturdays to take care of home matters or brings your sons to their ball games.  Don't overlook the fact that he gets up everyday and works hard at his job to ensure a financially secure life.  He is loving you in all those ways.  If you keep God at the center of your life, you will be hard-pressed to forget these things.

 Put the women's magazines down, throw them in the trash, and fill your home with literature that fills your mind with knowledge and nurtures your soul with love. Your husbands will thank you for it.  Your kids will thank you for it.  Women are so busy running around shopping for all the right items they think will fill their lives and keep their husbands attracted, that they are forgetting their husbands are already attracted and they're waiting on their wives to realize that. We need literature in the check-out lanes that encourage us to know we are great just the way God made us.  We don't need magazines to force-feed a habit of overspending on garbage that will never fill our lives the way God can.  We don't need magazines telling us date nights are so important it should be engraved on our tombstones!  Seriously, climb out from the depths of hell!!!  What women and couples DO need in their lives is God.  He is the ONLY ONE who can fill you - completely, wholly, to your core.  If you keep Him at the center of your marriage - at the center of your lives - you will stay centered on the important stuff in life.  One thing's for sure…the important stuff is not in a store, and I don't need a magazine to bring me to the depths of hell and lie and tell me that it is.


Our 20th Wedding Anniversary - five years ago



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