When I converted to Catholicism, it was not "because my husband was Catholic." I converted because in my heart I knew the truth had always been in the Catholic Church. If anything, as a former Episcopalian raised in an occult-practicing home, I was jealous of anyone who had been born a Catholic. It was like they had been given this incredible gift at birth and many didn't even know it or appreciate it. I had been fighting for it most of my life. Making my fifth and final college a Catholic one was a deliberate decision, choosing to teach in a Catholic school setting was handed to me on a silver platter and I accepted, and signing up for RCIA was a very conscious decision. I knew what was at the end of that road and I couldn't wait to get there.
My husband is a cradle Catholic and early in our marriage he would tell me that, "It's cultural - being Catholic is who I am." Of course having been one his whole life and attending Catholic school growing up, he knew more about his faith than I did in some respects, but in other respects, I did. What I did know for sure was that he did not know his faith well enough. There were big holes in his catechesis growing up. I certainly had big deficits (and still do), but I was learning and loving it. I saw him just wanting to attend mass minimally and not wanting to grow in his faith. I began praying for him that one day his eyes would be opened to the treasure that is inside Christ's Church. I knew that once he saw it, there would be no turning back.
Fast forward to the time when I was pregnant with my third son. The last time I wrote about my journey, this is where I left off. I had become pregnant with him after my second miscarriage. This baby boy was a gift and every time I thought of the baby while he was in my womb, I heard the name John Paul. Man, did I fight that one. I tried to think of every other boy's name, but I kept hearing the name John Paul. I fought this name because it sounded too "Catholic" to me. What would people think? They're going to think we're some weird "Pope worshippers"! God was still leading us.
I don't remember exactly when but sometime in that pregnancy, my husband began reading vigorously about his faith mostly to defend it to a Protestant co-worker. He never knew how to properly defend the Catholic faith, so he decided to try to learn as much as he could. So he and I began this journey of trying to learn more together. We shared information, discussed it, and continued to be amazed at all we were discovering...all that had been in the Church for two thousand years...all that's still there that so many Catholics don't even know exists. Well, my prayers were finally being answered. I had a husband who was turned on to his faith. We were both on fire with the Spirit!
We talked about one day him being able to go to Franciscan University to one of their men's retreats, as we had heard they were amazing. He was attending a men's bible study at our church and they had even discussed sending a few guys up there for a retreat sometime in the future. Well, our third son (John Paul, of course) was born in April of 2009 and I decided to send my husband to a Franciscan University retreat that was coming up in June as a Father's Day present. I told him early of my present so we could buy his plane ticket. He, of course, turned me down because he said he couldn't imagine leaving me alone for the weekend with two boys and a six week old newborn. I told him I'd be okay and I wanted him to go. He said no.
His Men's bible study decided to send a small group of men to the conference - one of our deacons and two men who lead the group. My husband was so happy that at least someone from our parish would get to go and be involved with this incredible retreat. At the last minute, one of the men could not attend and asked if my husband would take his place. It was like God was saying, "You know, I tried to reach you through your wife, but you declined. I had to pull out all the stops." This retreat was handed to him and I told him it was meant to be, that he should go, and that we would manage without him.
He went. It was life altering for him. And he met a former professional football player who would help him and the men from our parish enliven the spirit within the men of our Archdiocese. My husband's faith was alive - something I had prayed for years ago - and it was changing the course of our marriage...all for the better.
I will write more in my next blog. :)
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Happy Belated Mother's Day
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| My grandmother holding her second child...my mother 1945, New Mexico |
I meant to write this posting before Mother's Day, but wouldn't you know it...I was busy. I am feeling very compelled to write this though, so I am wishing a very belated Happy Mother's Day to all my readers who are moms, mamas, mommies, meemaws, and mothers.
My maternal grandmother gave birth to her firstborn child - a son - in the early 1940's. He was born with spina bifida and passed away after only a few months. She often spoke of her son, Ronnie, and every time her eyes would well up with tears. When I was a teen, I used to wonder why she still lamented a baby she had lost so many years ago. Don't get me wrong; I wasn't callous, just was lost in my own teenage angst and self absorption. After I married and gave birth to my first son, I didn't wonder anymore. I knew the love a mother has for her child. It must be the strongest form of love on earth. We would die for our children. "Take me, not my child," we would say.
Throughout the ages, women have lost children whether in the womb or days, months, or years after birth. It is a pain that lasts with the mother for life. People, of course, can instantly sympathize with someone who has lost a child after it's been born. Many women have lost babies before they were born and feel the same pain. Miscarriage is a topic that is not often talked about and I'm not sure why. It is so common, however, that I don't know many moms who haven't suffered at least one miscarriage.
I dedicate this Mother's Day to all women who have carried a baby in their wombs, even for mere days. A mother instantly feels protective of her baby, and she loves it unconditionally. Each of our babies takes a piece of our hearts from the moment of conception. Women must not let anyone tell them their babies are only a clump of cells - a term which actually nauseates me. Our babies are our babies - no matter how old or how long we knew them. If you have lost a baby from a miscarriage know that they are waiting for you in heaven. They are your angels, and they can't wait for you to hold them.
My grandmother loved me unconditionally and taught me many things about being a mother. One month before she passed away, she brought up her firstborn son - her only son - once again. She had tears in her eyes and she said, "I can't wait to see Ronnie again...and my mama and daddy." She began crying - my grandmother of seventy-seven years. She had been waiting all that time to see her baby boy again. Our babies are our babies. Motherhood is a gift.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Teach Your Children Well
Being a part of the pro-life movement is not an easy task, and at times seems like such a daunting commitment that I want to bow out all together. Abortion is not an easy topic to talk about, read about, or write about. Every time, I begin to feel defeated or like I could walk away without anyone even noticing, something or someone inadvertently picks me back up and encourages me to press on.
Today, I saw a video which exhilarated my efforts once again because it accurately showed the reality of why so many abortions occur, and it ultimately portrayed the young woman choosing life over death. I have personally known several women who have had abortions and each time, the woman was pressured by her boyfriend or husband to "just get rid of it". As I write those words, the hair stands up on the back of my neck because it completely goes against every fiber of my being. Women are born to nurture. We are born to give life and nurture that life. It would be counter to our genetics to kill our offspring.
However, this is happening by the millions. Too often than not, boyfriends and husbands who have no God in their lives find it easy to tell their girlfriends and wives that having a baby is not an option. They will even tell them that if they decide to keep the baby, they're through. I can tell you with certainty that a woman at the end of her life will never regret having children; however, she will regret staying one minute with a man who would even think of the possibility of murdering their child, let alone actually suggesting and/or demanding it.
I am convinced that the only way abortion will end is by changing the hearts of our young men and women. Girls and boys must be taught from a very young age that life begins at conception. They must be taught that "life" means "baby"...not a clump of cells! Having a baby is God's gift to us. He is showing us His love for us through creating life. If you have ever looked into a baby's eyes and seen the understanding - the connection - that is there, then you have seen God's love for you. Babies are love. They love and want to be loved. It's really as simple as that. We love them by nurturing them through nourishment, close loving contact, gentle movements, warmth, kisses, and hugs. God loves us in the same way. He is gentle, he nourishes us, and he is in close contact with us all the time. He loves us through the gift of life.
We have to teach our girls to respect themselves and their bodies enough to know that having a baby should only occur within the context of a loving marriage. If we could teach our sons to respect girls to such a height as to hold in esteem the sanctity of marriage, then girls would never feel pressured into a situation that deep down they know is wrong. Abstinence is the only form of contraception that is 100% reliable. There is no other form of contraception that is 100% reliable. As a matter-of-fact, all other forms of contraception can lead to depression and low self-esteem, which have far reaching consequences for girls. I don't know any 40 year old women who say, "I'm sure glad I had all those wild times when I was younger and gave myself to all those boys. Sure glad I had all those pre-marital relationships and one night stands!" What have we women done with our "freedom"? We have given ourselves freely over to abuse, rape, low self-esteem, depression, medical problems as a result of contraceptions and abortions, a rise in breast and cervical cancer, and the ability to murder our own children in a horrific violent manner.
This video accurately portrays the scenario of a young woman who finds herself pregnant with her boyfriend's child, only to hear that she must "take care of it" or they're through. As I stated earlier, she ultimately chooses life over death; motherhood over a short lived relationship with a boy who is willing to murder his own child. We must start at home with our own children...telling them of the beauty of life - of the gift God bestows upon us. We must teach our children to abstain until marriage. We must teach our children of the sanctity of marriage. We must teach our young girls to respect themselves and their bodies, so that they never give themselves over freely. We must teach our young boys to respect girls and their bodies. We must teach our young boys how to grow into men who are willing to abstain until marriage. We must also teach them that killing the unborn is never an option...and it is never an option to suggest it to a young woman. If we can teach our children those things, abortions will cease to exist. We won't have to fight powerhouses like Planned Parenthood because there won't be money to be had in the abortion business anymore. If we can change the hearts of Americans, then we can change laws...but not until then.
I have included the short movie here. I welcome your comments!
Warning!: some graphic images
Today, I saw a video which exhilarated my efforts once again because it accurately showed the reality of why so many abortions occur, and it ultimately portrayed the young woman choosing life over death. I have personally known several women who have had abortions and each time, the woman was pressured by her boyfriend or husband to "just get rid of it". As I write those words, the hair stands up on the back of my neck because it completely goes against every fiber of my being. Women are born to nurture. We are born to give life and nurture that life. It would be counter to our genetics to kill our offspring.
However, this is happening by the millions. Too often than not, boyfriends and husbands who have no God in their lives find it easy to tell their girlfriends and wives that having a baby is not an option. They will even tell them that if they decide to keep the baby, they're through. I can tell you with certainty that a woman at the end of her life will never regret having children; however, she will regret staying one minute with a man who would even think of the possibility of murdering their child, let alone actually suggesting and/or demanding it.
I am convinced that the only way abortion will end is by changing the hearts of our young men and women. Girls and boys must be taught from a very young age that life begins at conception. They must be taught that "life" means "baby"...not a clump of cells! Having a baby is God's gift to us. He is showing us His love for us through creating life. If you have ever looked into a baby's eyes and seen the understanding - the connection - that is there, then you have seen God's love for you. Babies are love. They love and want to be loved. It's really as simple as that. We love them by nurturing them through nourishment, close loving contact, gentle movements, warmth, kisses, and hugs. God loves us in the same way. He is gentle, he nourishes us, and he is in close contact with us all the time. He loves us through the gift of life.
We have to teach our girls to respect themselves and their bodies enough to know that having a baby should only occur within the context of a loving marriage. If we could teach our sons to respect girls to such a height as to hold in esteem the sanctity of marriage, then girls would never feel pressured into a situation that deep down they know is wrong. Abstinence is the only form of contraception that is 100% reliable. There is no other form of contraception that is 100% reliable. As a matter-of-fact, all other forms of contraception can lead to depression and low self-esteem, which have far reaching consequences for girls. I don't know any 40 year old women who say, "I'm sure glad I had all those wild times when I was younger and gave myself to all those boys. Sure glad I had all those pre-marital relationships and one night stands!" What have we women done with our "freedom"? We have given ourselves freely over to abuse, rape, low self-esteem, depression, medical problems as a result of contraceptions and abortions, a rise in breast and cervical cancer, and the ability to murder our own children in a horrific violent manner.
This video accurately portrays the scenario of a young woman who finds herself pregnant with her boyfriend's child, only to hear that she must "take care of it" or they're through. As I stated earlier, she ultimately chooses life over death; motherhood over a short lived relationship with a boy who is willing to murder his own child. We must start at home with our own children...telling them of the beauty of life - of the gift God bestows upon us. We must teach our children to abstain until marriage. We must teach our children of the sanctity of marriage. We must teach our young girls to respect themselves and their bodies, so that they never give themselves over freely. We must teach our young boys to respect girls and their bodies. We must teach our young boys how to grow into men who are willing to abstain until marriage. We must also teach them that killing the unborn is never an option...and it is never an option to suggest it to a young woman. If we can teach our children those things, abortions will cease to exist. We won't have to fight powerhouses like Planned Parenthood because there won't be money to be had in the abortion business anymore. If we can change the hearts of Americans, then we can change laws...but not until then.
I have included the short movie here. I welcome your comments!
Warning!: some graphic images
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