Here is a posting I wrote September 4th:
Mass With Kids? Sure! Give it a Try!
This past Sunday, I was sitting in mass and I realized that all my children were quiet and happy sitting with us there in the back row. Yay! We were successful! And by successful, I mean no one was randomly talking VERY LOUDLY, no one was whining "I'm bored", no sippy cups were falling during those quiet times in mass, no one needed to go potty, no one was fighting, no one needed to be cleaned head to toe from a mere "snack", and I wasn't on the floor cleaning up that "snack"!
I know just how challenging it can be to bring
children of any age to mass - much less bringing many of them all at once - but
it can be done. I want to encourage anyone reading who might be forgoing
mass during those baby/toddler years because it's just too much work.
Sometimes, some children might need to stay home during a few months of
their lives (this was the case with all of my boys around the year and a half
mark), but keep at it. Be persistent.
The more you go, the more the kids see it as
routine. It will just be the thing the family does all together on
Sunday. I do have some helpful tips I'd like to share:
1. If you have a newborn and he/she cries,
you can feed (nurse) right there or walk in the back of the church or cry room.
2. Pack a "mass bag" for toddlers
and older children. Let them pick their goodies which could include
sticker books, short books, coloring books, blank paper, pencils, washable
crayons, small dolls, favorite blankie, etc.
3. Bring a simple snack that won't make a
mess if spilled - goldfish are the worst offender. I can't tell you how
many times I've stepped on goldfish dust on the floor in the back of our
church. Try dried apples, bananas, raisins, cranberries, cheerios, fruit
leather, and crackers/cereal (if you manage it). Remember to clean up after
yourselves!
4. Try to sit strategically so younger
children are placed between mom and dad and older children.
5. Let your younger children pick out their
clothes (give them some appropriate choices) - if you fight with them to wear
something they don't like, it's just one more thing they won't like about mass.
6. Try not to rush the morning, but if you're
rushed, don't yell! Yelling hasn't really gotten me anywhere. Trust
me, I've tried it! It's not a great way to start your Sunday.
7. Praise your teenagers and older children
in front of the younger children. It's important for the older ones to
know how much you appreciate their good behavior and how great it is they're
"showing up for God". It's also great for the younger ones to
see them as role models.
8. You can make a family outing, such as
lunch, after mass a part of your routine if you're able. It makes for a
wonderful family day and kids will look forward to it. It's worth not
going out all week and saving the money just for Sunday.
9. Sit near an escape route! I can't
tell you how crucial this is. As much as you think your kids are perfect,
every now and then they will need to leave for various reasons. It's
difficult for those around you to see, hear, and focus on the mass if the kids
are squirmy and loud. The back of the church is kind of like a given that
it's for the families with little ones - that is if you don't have a "cry
room". If there are adults back there who are annoyed by your
family, I say, "too bad - you knew what you were in for when you sat
there"!
10. Finally and most importantly, set a good
example for your children before, during, and after. Children watch and
listen like hawks and they are the ultimate imitators. Be positive, be
patient, and be persistent.
I hope these tips help. Persistence is really the key. There
have been times when one of our boys was just too much and too loud to handle,
so we would go to mass in shifts - my husband at one time and me at another.
Sometimes a little one just needs a little walk around the back of the
church or even outside for five minutes. Don't deny yourself the graces
that come from spending time with our Lord. He knows you're there.
It's not crucial that you don't hear the homily. Remember, we're
Catholic - the homily is not the point of mass. You're there for
receiving the Eucharist. I encourage anyone reading who has been avoiding
mass to give it a try and leave me a note to let me know how it's going.
If anyone else has any other tips, please feel free to share! You
won't regret going to mass - Jesus is there and he wants you there too. God
bless and may you have many happy Sundays together as a family!!!
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