Healing is Not for Wimps!

I recently went to see a well-known Catholic female speaker at a day-long women's healing retreat.  Truth be told, I was planning our Archdiocese's first women's conference and was scouting potential speakers.  I was very excited to hear this woman speak.  What I did not expect was that major healing took place.  What a day!  I remember something she said so vividly.  She said that if there was something for which you find yourself returning to the confessional, your problem is probably not that problem - but something deeper.  She said that either I had committed a greater sin that I wasn't confessing or someone committed a sin against me that I had not dealt with.  That's some heavy stuff, my friends.  Think about that for a moment.  How many times have you entered a confessional thinking, "Why can't I just get rid of this once and for all? Why do I have to keep confessing this?"

I had been praying for months for guidance on how to control my quick temper.  It just seemed like I couldn't control it.  I am generally a very mild-mannered person, but just the right thing or (let's be honest) just the wrong amount of sleep and I was like a ticking time bomb.  I knew it was some sort of anger that I was having trouble harnessing.  I realized in that instant that because of childhood instances, there was a general feeling of loss of control in my life.  So in order to compensate for that, I try to control things (I think we all do which is why priests are always telling us that God is in control). So when I felt like I was losing control of a situation - any situation no matter how big or small - anger would rear its ugly head.  That was big stuff.

Now, there are so many people who would read this and say, "oh yawn, you have problems, I have problems, we all have problems, get over it."  They're right, but how does one just "get over it"?  It is through God's healing grace that one can instantly wipe away years of pain or anger or what have you. Jesus is the ultimate healer.  He can heal you.  He has healed me many times.  Admitting to yourself that you are in need of healing is not something for wimps.  That is an heroic act.  It means you'll have to do some work...and it probably won't be pretty.  You might have to roll up your sleeves and pant legs and get in the mud.  You will probably be brought to your knees.  Humility is not easy.  All the people walking around you not admitting they need God's help or Jesus' healing touch are really the wimps.  They are burying their heads in the sand and continuing to think they are in control.  ...But you and I know better.  We are not in control.  God is.  The Holy Spirit is always guiding us in our decisions.  Listen to what the Spirit is telling you.  Listen.  Be still and ask why you find yourself confessing the same thing over and over again.  The Spirit will tell you.  You might find yourself back in a confessional ...only this time for something different.  Let the healing in.  Don't worry about what your family member /friend /neighbor /co-worker says or the looks they give you when you tell them you lean on God for support.  You are evangelizing with your life...a life that was a gift from God.