A Servant of God Passes...

Saying goodbye is just so hard.  Whether it's saying goodbye to your kids in the morning as they head to school, or saying goodbye to your hubby as he prepares for a long day at work, or saying goodbye to loved ones when you may not see them again for months or even years, it always kind of brings a lump to my throat.  The most difficult goodbye is the one that ends with, "'til we meet again in heaven."  Even though we know we may see that person once we pass into eternity, it is so difficult being the one left behind.  The goodbye because of the death of a loved one makes us so sad we may cry for days or years.  It's a tough one to get over.

Recently, a friend of mine passed away, and I definitely feel a void in my life.  He is no longer here to talk to in person, listen to his sage advice, see his smile, have his help with church matters, or just notice his fidgets and quirks that made him "him".  He was a retired priest from New York working at our parish.  He and I became friends many years ago when my oldest son was in junior high at the parish school.  There's something about a priest who makes the effort to be at the kids' dances and in the classrooms talking with them when he, himself, is in failing health.

Here is Father Jerry at the Women's Conference…
fully engaged with one of the participants as he was
with each one of us.

When I began to run the respect life ministry for our parish, I was four months pregnant.  I was told a "Walk for Life" was already planned to be held at our parish for the end of January - I would be nine months pregnant (yikes).  Fr. Jerry offered to help numerous times and in numerous ways.  He was always concerned for me, my health, and the health of the baby.  He came to me one day a few years back and said he wanted to start a women's healing mass at our parish and asked if I would help him.  Of course I said yes, and we were on our way.  This year, our parish will hold its fourth annual healing mass.  When we held the Archdiocesan Women's Conference, he of course said he would be there all day to hear confessions.  This was a man who suffered physically everyday and was on multiple medications.

When his time came to finally meet our Lord, I was, of course, overcome with tremendous sadness over losing my friend, pastor, and confessor, but I was also happy for him as his pain and suffering had ended.  I would not be able to hear his homilies anymore.  I would not see his smile.  I would not see his tremendous efforts at our parish in being what he was called to be… a shepherd to the people.  But…I would forever hold those memories in my heart and in my memory.  The day he died, I heard his voice in my ears non-stop all day.  I kept going over old conversations I had had with him - hearing his advice, his laugh, his kind voice, and the way he sometimes fumbled for words when he wasn't feeling well.  I could feel his hand on mine when I was sad or tired or in need of a friend.

I brought my oldest son with me to the visitation (his funeral was in his home state of NY), as we were all so close to him, and we both did a lot of crying.  It was beautiful to get to say goodbye to him face to face though.  He was lying there so peacefully and dressed in white.  He looked like an angel.   Honestly, as I stood beside his casket and looked at him one last time all I could do was smile.  He had brought so much joy to my life and to my family's life, and I knew he was finally home and free from his earthly pains and troubles.  It definitely brought closure.  I will miss this humble servant of God, this man who was never afraid to admit past failures publicly, and help us with ours privately.  He taught us over and over to live as Jesus lived, to love each other, to see everyone as God's loved creations, to give of ourselves to others, to seek help when we go astray, and he taught us that God loves us and forgives us.  I am a better person for having known him and he will live with me and my family for all eternity.

"Well done, good and faithful servant…"  Matthew 25:21

p.s.  About a year ago, Father Jerry flagged me down after mass.  He pulled me aside and told me he wanted me to have this…his announcement card when he was ordained a priest.  He said he had saved several of them over the years and wanted me to have one.  The night he passed, I kept it very close to me.  He had a great love of the mass and truly believed in his calling to the priesthood.  Please pray for the soul of Father Jerry Hafner.