Women: We Are Comrades, Not Competition

A few weeks ago, I happened to be in a waiting room with my 18 year old son.  It was filled with mostly women.  Upon leaving, my son remarked to me that women are very different from men.  I said that was true, but asked him what he meant.  He said that he notices that when women are all in a room together all we do is look each other up and down and give each other dirty looks.  He said that if it were men all in a room together, they'd be instantly talking about sports or something and laughing.  He asked me why women treat each other the way we do.  I didn't really have a great answer other than informing him I had decided LONG AGO that when I enter a room full of women, I look at no one.  I don't want to engage in anyone's stares or nasty looks.

A few days ago, I read this article about a Yazidi Girl who escaped ISIS.  It is a harrowing tale and one that the whole world should read and be extremely concerned about.  She speaks of escaping with another girl and running into the arms of the PKK who helped her ultimately escape.  Do these girls look one another up and down when meeting each other for the first time?  I know you just snorted.  It's laughable.  It's laughable because these people have real problems and are fighting for their lives.  I doubt there is a lot of cattiness involved when women are huddled together praying for their lives.  The Iraqi women are in it together, and by "it" I mean life.  They see the big picture.  They know what is important because so many of them have had it taken away - their husbands, their homes, their children, their virginity, their innocence, their freedom.

So why in the world are we free women so cruel to one another?  Do we have too much? Are our lives so superficial that our mind's most important thoughts revolve around which handbag is on our arm, which shoes are on our feet, which car's steering wheel we're sitting behind, or which fellow female we're being seen with?  Really?  It sounds absurd when I paint this portrait of extreme landscapes - we women in the western free world and the women of Iraq and Syria.

I will say that we modern free women in the U.S. are basically all the same.  When you get down to it, we are simply women created by God.  We are entirely feminine.  We are daughters, sisters, aunts, wives, mothers, and grandmothers.  We probably genuinely care about the same things.  When we encounter each other, we must see a comrade, not competition.  We are all in this together.  Think about how much better our days would be if we all supported each other versus tearing each other down.  We complain that we don't get the same jobs men get or that we're not paid the same, yet we will degrade each other in the workplace and beat each other down to the point where someone loses their job.  We complain that no one listens to us, yet roll our eyes at the the woman who speaks of her "problems" in public.

As a Christian woman, I implore all Christian women to reach out to other women every chance you get.  We are in this together. We really do get each other.  We have husbands who may be great and supportive or may be abusive or neglectful or just difficult to talk to. We have elderly parents we're caring for.  We have children with multitudes of issues.  We have difficult jobs and responsibilities.  We all have our insecurities.  We all have dreams.  Let us build each other up and build a culture in this country that is truly pro-feminine.  We can never do that without first starting with ourselves.