Forty Years Out, I Grieve for the Women

This coming Tuesday, January 22nd 2013, will mark a very sad day in American history.  It is a day in our history that has directly caused the deaths of over fifty-five million Americans.  OVER FIFTY FIVE MILLION AMERICANS!  This has been an ongoing horrific genocide on our own people.  So what happened on that date forty years ago?  There was a judicial court ruling that stated that abortion on demand would be legal in all fifty states of America.  That day marked the beginning of legalized murder in this country...and most turned a blind eye.

When I was pro-choice, I was unaware of the facts...which is why I was pro-choice.  I always felt like abortion was a horrible alternative and one I would not choose for myself, but I didn't want to take that choice away from women.  It seemed a necessary evil.  What an oxymoron that is: "necessary evil".  No evil is ever warranted, much less necessary!  When I was shown the facts on abortion, I was horrified.  I remember thinking, "How could this be legal???!!!"  I wanted to put a billboard on top of my car and yell through a bullhorn while driving around the streets of Miami.  "Abortion is murder!  It is a gruesome murder of innocent children!  Babies are dying!  Mothers are dying in these clinics!  Mothers are being scarred for life - both physically and psychologically!  THIS is NOT women's lib!  This is an American genocide and it is a war on women!"

This year, as I will be walking in our local Walk for Life, my heart will be filled with sorrow for the millions of women who have endured the effects of this genocide.  We have generations of women who have been lied to and continue to be lied to about abortion. It is not by any stretch of the imagination a safe procedure.  It is not only done in the first trimester (as if this even matters because as we all know life begins at conception).  It is legal through all nine months of pregnancy in all fifty states.  The methods used during an abortion are cruel and disgusting and bloody and frankly, horrific. You can view them here:  Abortion Procedure Diagrams  I, myself, cannot bring myself to view these.  Every time I mistakenly see an abortion image, my gut wrenches and I feel sick, hot, and dizzy.  I would hope that would be the same response from every human being because this is sickening and horrifying.

The ruling from Roe v Wade was supposed to prevent women from dying from self-induced abortions or abortions done in back-alley clinics.  Guess what?  Women are still dying yearly from this heinous "procedure".  Don't believe me?  You can read about a recent case here:  Woman Dies After Second Trimester Abortion - PP Chicago  We owe the women of our nation an apology.  Can we get reparations?  How would that work exactly?  How does a woman pull herself from years of deep-seated depression or make a physical impairment from a prior abortion magically go away or come to life after dying in some disgusting "women's clinic"?  The only way we can make it up to women is by stopping this genocide on their babies, their wombs, and their souls.  No one would ever deny a woman her right to care for her own body or to protect her own body.  Nor would anyone ever deny a woman her freedom to make choices regarding her own life.  But a woman's right to her body is just that - HER body.  A baby growing inside her womb is not the woman's body - it is attached to the woman's body.  Abortion is not a procedure done to a woman.  It is a merciless, unsafe, horrifically violent end to a baby's life - a life placed in a mother's womb by God for protection, nourishment, growth, and love.

Innocent babies are losing their lives daily in a sacrifice given up by their mothers on the altar of a cold metal operation table at the hands of the devil.  Please join the human rights movement of our time and help stop this war on women and this genocide on our babies!

Take Stock in Your Life...Your Creator Has

Is it just me or did schools used to encourage the writing of lists and essays dedicated to our New Year's resolutions once we came back from Christmas break?  I never hear anyone mention this anymore unless it is in a joking way - like, yeah, I'll really stick to those resolutions!  What a missed opportunity to renew your life by reviewing your past and present while making some goals for your future.  I don't think God wants us to sit on our rears and watch tv for hours on end, for example, when we could be dong something so much better for ourselves and our families. If you do pick some things for your new year's resolutions, I suggest picking a small amount.  Otherwise, you will just burn out and give up.

What are my resolutions?  They might seem strange perhaps.  The first is to write - handwrite - a letter to someone once a month and send it via snailmail.  We, as a society, are losing our writing skills and our correspondence skills...myself included!!!  And anyway, who doesn't love seeing an actual letter in the mailbox rather than junk mail or magazines?  Secondly, I am going to keep my cell phone in my purse in the back seat of my car while I'm driving.  That darn cell phone is just too tempting to want to see what new email just came in and made my phone ding, or new text, or just to want to peruse facebook at a red light.  It is a perilous piece of equipment in the car, and I am responsible not only for my own life and the lives of the other drivers, but also the lives of my children as I drive them to and fro each day.  Thirdly, I will exercise more outdoors while with my children, whether it is walking with them, pushing them in a stroller, playing frisbee or soccer or basketball, or whatever.  That is some serious bonding time!  Lastly, I will visit adoration once a month.   What a precious gift the Catholic Church has.  No other church has this.  Jesus is there waiting for me; waiting for all of you in adoration.  I will visit him.  I will show up.  It's tough to get away when you have little ones, but it is not impossible.

My last thought is how cool that as Catholics, we will get to review our lives again during Lent.  The calendar year has many times of renewal - the New Year, Lent, the first day of Spring, the end of the school year, etc.  Of course, you don't have to wait until any of these times to begin anew.  Every day is a chance to begin again.  Take these opportunities to take stock in your own life.  It has been given to you as a precious gift by your Creator.  Find our why you're here.  What are your talents and gifts and are you using them for the glory of God? May God bless you all in 2013.  Cheers!

Did You Lay Your Life Down for Christ this Christmas?

I am admitting right here and now that if Christmas were only about Santa Claus and toys under a decorated fir tree (that should really still be standing in a forest somewhere as a home to woodland creatures), then I would have surely received a grade of A+ for my effort this past week.  However, Christmas really means that we are remembering God coming to his people tangibly as a baby in a manger in Bethlehem and how He came to this world to save us.  If I were to receive a grade for how well I did to keep that as the forefront of my family's minds,  then I probably would receive a grade of D - maybe F - this year.  Let's face it, it is tough to keep things in perspective all the time with society moving farther and farther away from the knowledge that we were created by The One who called himself "I am who I am."  He is existence.  He created us.  We exist because of Him.  We are supposed to give Him glory in all we do - all the time - 24/7.  The one time of year that we celebrate His earthly existence and His gift to us to come and save us, we spin it as the time of year to put pretty lights up, put reindeer antlers on our cars, wear red and green as much as possible (so much so that you don't want to see another red or green article of clothing until next Christmas), and as I heard so often this year...a time to be nice and to "give".

I am no theological genius, but I think we're supposed to be nice all the time - not just this time of year.  And I think we're supposed to be giving all the time.  And how much giving really takes place at Christmastime?  I do know there are many people who give of their time to help feed and clothe the hungry and poor, but "many" people isn't "most" people...and it certainly isn't "all" people.  We also bake like the end of the world is coming for people who usually say, "I'm trying to watch my calories".  We have even perverted this sense of giving to mean giving lots and lots and lots of toys to children who already have lots and lots and lots of toys.  We have perverted it to mean giving more stuff - that we don't need and probably wouldn't buy for ourselves - to people who already have lots of stuff.  How much stuff do we really need?  My house is so loaded with stuff from twenty three years of marriage and four children, that I am constantly in a frenzied state of "can we give this away? well, how about this?  and why do we still have this???"

Before Christmas this year, I had wanted so badly to really focus on the meaning of Christmas and teach my children how to as well.  I began our Advent season with the best of intentions.  I decided I would buy presents for the kids early and online, thus freeing me up for quality time with my children, snuggling, reading to them, baking with them, taking walks with them, etc.  My online order from "Name Withheld" was royally messed up and was given a shipdate of February.  February!!!  And I didn't even notice that until the week before Christmas when nothing had arrived yet.  Needless to say, I canceled my order.  So, amidst planning and preparing for my seven year old's beach-themed birthday party (two days before Christmas), I had to now find time to figure out how to get the bottom of our tree loaded up on Christmas morning.  This all meant my mind was not on Christ.  My eyes were not fixed on our Lord.  My heart was not pounding for joy at the impending birth of our Savior.  My heart was pounding at the thought of pulling off a birthday party at our home, as well as entertaining and cooking for our extended family Christmas Eve, and then making sure I had bought and wrapped enough presents for our children to open Christmas morning so that there would be no long faces.

To exacerbate my guilt over not celebrating the true meaning of Christmas, the Newtown massacre happened.  That is a day I will NEVER forget, nor will I get past it.  Like the parents of those beautiful children, I too have a first grader whom I love more than my own life.  The Christmas frenzy stopped that day.  I spent the day with my children - hugging them, kissing them, and trying to imagine my life if I were one of those Newtown parents.  How would I cope?  How would I continue on?  How would I ever forgive?  (A topic I recently wrote about and you can read here:  How Do I Forgive? )  I have done a lot of crying for the Newtown families and their tremendous losses and pain.  I grieve for the parents and families.  I grieve for the teachers and their families.  The ones who survived have scars that will remain on their hearts for the rest of their lives.  As a former teacher, I went through all the emotions and thoughts of "what if that had been me?"  What if that had happened when I was teaching?  Would I have lunged at the gunman?  Would I have frozen in fear? I want to say I would have gallantly tried to save my children's lives before my own - I think I would have - but I don't know.

It's impossible to try to imagine what one would do in the same horrific and unforeseen situation.  I do remember teaching when 9/11 happened and how I went into "lioness mode".  Muhammed Atta lived in our city for heaven's sake.  There was fear in our city that day - a lot of rumors and speculation... and fear.  I remember going through my mind in a split second how I could get my kids out of our classroom to safety while trying to get my own son from his kindergarten room at the same time.  My heart was split that day - between my "kids", as I called them, and my own son downstairs in a different room.  I remember thinking that as long as he was safe, that's all that would matter.  I would give my life for my students and my son - their lives were greater than mine.  The teachers, administrators, and staff who perished in Newtown are national heroines.  Their names should be learned by all.  Their stories should be told.  They gave their lives defending the lives of innocent children.  Of course, that kind of giving is the ultimate giving - the ultimate sacrifice - that we would lay our lives down for another.

God asks us to lay our lives down for Him everyday.  We haven't been doing a good job of it.  If we were, we wouldn't have the high numbers of mentally ill people unable to get adequate medical care. We wouldn't have guns so readily available to just anybody at any time - a piece of machinery that can take another's precious life with one movement.  We wouldn't be mass producing extremely violent  video games for our boys and evil monstrous dolls for our girls and then wrapping them in Frosty the Snowman paper to be tucked gently under bejeweled fir trees.  We wouldn't be forgetting our human brothers and sisters who need our love and support the whole rest of the year.  We wouldn't advocating and protecting (under the guise of choice) the violent death of millions of babies in the womb every year.  We wouldn't be focusing our daily lives on emulating Hollywood or Housewives of Wherever or Jersey Shore or ANYONE other than Christ.  As Christians, we have a duty to live our lives the way God has commanded us to live it.  Did everyone forget about the Ten Commandments?  Yeah, they weren't gentle reminders...they were COMMANDMENTS.  And as I have said before, God's kingdom is not a democracy, it is a kingdom.

Ugggggghhhhh.  Next year will be better.  I am vowing that next Christmas, our family's eyes will be set on waiting to see that tiny baby placed in the manger on Christmas Eve.  I am vowing that the focus of our year will be Christ's life, passion, death, and resurrection.  It is the ONLY thing that is important in this life.  He placed Himself inside - what is supposed to be - the safest place on the planet; a mother's womb.  He came to His people as a baby to a family of humble means so that we may understand Him more - we may relate to Him completely as one of us.  He wants us to know He understands our pains, our sufferings, our joys, our loves, and our responsibilities.  He did all that for us - the ones He created to enjoy in His creations.  What are we doing for Him?  How are we serving Him daily?  Reach out to others.  Spread His love.  Spread His joy.  Be a Christian witness to others.  If you have God at the center of your heart, how can you be anything but joyous?  Others will see your joy and will want it.  Teach others Christ's teachings.  Instruct others in the ways of the Church He set into motion with the sacraments and Peter as its first Pope.  If you don't know the ways of His Church, then begin this new year in educating yourself.  For as St. Jerome said, "Ignorance of the Scriptures, is ignorance of Christ."  Our world needs the witness of Christians - specifically Catholics.  We are a broken, Godless, misguided, and hurting world.  Only Christ and His Church have the ability to heal.  Wear your Christianity on the outside for all to see.  Witness for Christ and be willing to lay your life down for Him.  He layed His life down for us.

Christmas Music: Inspirational or Secularized?

I was listening to our local Christian radio station and a woman called in.  She was lamenting that the station was playing Christmas music. Her argument went like this: I listen to your station as my time to get away from the world, my time to worship, my time to just get away from it all and focus on the Lord.  She said she could listen to Christmas music on any other station and wished the Christian station remained faithful to inspirational Christian tunes.  To which the disc jockey (if they're even called that anymore) replied, what better Christian music than Christmas music? It's kind of the ultimate - is it not? Also, if people are scanning the dial for Christmas music and find this station, they might stay for a while and like "the other stuff" - thus being evangelized.

My response? Is this really where we are? Christians can't even recognize inspiration in Christmas music?  Christmas has become so secularized that even Christians can't recognize the meaning behind the music and use it as a time to worship the birth of our Saviour???  Granted, if we're talking about Jingle Bells, it may be more difficult. Aaaaaand, this Christian station does tend to play many Christmas songs that sound like they belong at a rock concert.  Perhaps the radio station would do better to play more Christmas songs that are reverent to Christ's birth and help those of us out there driving around in our cars to experience inspiration in the "ultimate" Christian music.  But even in those songs that are more kitschy, can we not find the meaning behind the words too? Music is such an amazing route to recall a memory, sight, sound, smell, or emotion.  Shouldn't Christmas music recall a memory of Christmases past, a special family memory, attending mass, visiting a live nativity, and celebrating the birth of God's son born to a Virgin who said YES to God?

This Advent season, let all of the secular decorations you see and music you hear remind you of that. You will catch yourself going throughout your day with a smile on your face because in the end, all we need is our Lord. This is a joyous time - a time to celebrate - just keep the true meaning behind it all on the forefront of your mind and in your heart.  Of course, make sure your children do too.  If you are a parent, it is your job to hand your faith on to your children. They will not learn it through osmosis. Talk to your children about this joyous time, and I bet even they will begin to think about the toys a little less and want to pray and worship our Lord a little more.  Don't let yourself or anyone in your family be like the woman caller who has trouble seeing the true meaning of Christmas and the beauty in all of the ways we celebrate.

May you have a wonderful start to your Advent season.  Don't forget it begins this weekend and don't forget to teach that to your children.  Point out to them the new decorations that will be adorning your church as you attend mass this weekend....and play some Christmas music!  Here's a start...one of my favorite songs...and it is reverent...and it recalls the TRUE meaning of Christmas:

Is Infant Baptism Biblical?

Why do Catholics baptize infants when so many other Christians baptize later in life - when there is an "understanding"?  That was one of the questions that arose after one of my Scripture study courses.  Several people in the class complained that friends or relatives of theirs attend various protestant churches and question this Catholic practice.  One person even challenged our notion of infant baptism by stating he wanted biblical proof of "one baby being baptized".  Here was my response:

The Church teaches that baptism is a sacrament that removes sin - both original and actual.  In the case of an infant or young child it only removes original sin.  If it is an older person, it would remove both original and actual sin.  

It is also written in Scripture.

For example, in Acts 2:38, Peter states "Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit."  If you notice,  Peter does not restrict this teaching to adults.  He added in v39, "For the promise is to you and to your children and to all that are far off, every one whom the Lord our God calls to him."

In Acts 16:14-15, Scripture tells us that, "One of them, a woman named Lydia, a dealer in purple cloth, from the city of Thyatira, a worshiper of God, listened, and the Lord opened her heart to pay attention to what Paul was saying.  After she and her household had been baptized, she offered us an invitation, 'If you consider me a believer in the Lord, come and stay at my home,' and she prevailed on us."  The "household" was baptized.  It doesn't say only the adults and older children were baptized.

In Acts 16:33, it goes on to state, "He took them in that hour of the night and bathed their wounds; then he and all his family were baptized at once."

None of the above verses excludes infants, nor does it state that specifically only adults are to be baptized.

In Luke 18:15-16, Luke states, "Now they were bringing even infants to him that he might touch them; and when the disciples saw it, they rebuked them.  But Jesus called them to him, saying, 'Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of God'."   Many fundamentalists will say that this does  not apply to infants as infants would not be able to approach him on their own.  However, the passage states they were bringing "even infants to him".  And notice what Jesus says, "to such (referring to infants and children that were brought to him) belongs the kingdom of God".  So, if Jesus himself said, "let them come to me", who are we to say, "no" and withhold baptism from them?

There is also MUCH writing about the topic by the early Church Fathers.  I will only quote two here:

St. Irenaeus of Lyons:  "For he came to save all through himself - all, I say, who through him are born again to God - infants, and children, and boys, and youth, and old men."   AD 189

St. Hippolytus of Rome:  "The children shall be baptized first.  All the children who can answer for themselves, let them answer.  If there are any children who cannot answer for themselves, let their parents answer for them, or someone else from their family."   AD 215

I hope this brings some clarity for anyone reading who always wondered about infant baptism.  God bless!

How Do I Forgive?

How many times in your life have you felt wronged?  What did that person or persons do to you?  Was it as simple as someone cutting in front of you in line, or was it someone stole an idea of yours and then received the credit?  Has anyone ever lied about something you did or said and convinced others to believe their version of the story?  Were you abandoned by a parent or both parents?  Have you ever been mistreated by a boyfriend or spouse, and it seems they walk away unscathed while you are the one left alone on the battlefield with the wounds?  Have you ever been abused - emotionally or physically or both?  Has someone close to you been killed at the hands of another?  Anyone who has experienced any of these scenarios knows that the pain involved is very real, very scarring, and very lasting.  Even though as Christians we know we are supposed to forgive, it's the getting to that point - I mean truly getting to a point of freeing yourself from feelings of hurt, anger, or revenge - that is the toughest part.

How do we forgive to the point where we don't have any ill feelings towards the assailant?  I am not ashamed to say that I personally find this very difficult.  I can say the words, "I forgive," but to actually feel it to the depths of my soul is difficult to attain.  I do know it takes time, and I know the amount of time is different for everyone and every scenario.  The first and most important thing one must do is to take time praying for your heart to open up and hear what Jesus is telling you.  We all know God's time is not our time, so praying will become a habit if it's not already.  It will take time sitting before our Lord in adoration.  Perhaps it will take a trip (or two or three or more) to a confessional - ahhhhh horrors a confessional...but sometimes we think someone wronged us and we have no part in the blame.  That is where sitting and examining your conscience while meditating on all aspects of each Commandment will help us to see more clearly.  Yes, forgiving takes time, prayer, meditation, and confession...which I think means it will take WORK.  Darnit!  It's not easy to forgive.  It will take more than a simple passing thought of forgiveness when you have a scar on your soul.  I think it might be human nature to want to retaliate - even if it's a short-lived thought.  Don't kid yourself.  You've wanted to get back at someone for something at sometime.  How did the thought of retaliation make you feel?  Glorious?  Exalted? A winner?  Like a gladiator who just conquered the lion???  After you realized you wouldn't be retaliating, how did you really feel?  Worse than you did before your grandiose battle plan?  You felt worse because you felt defeated.  You realized the perpetrator was going to most likely get to go on with his/her life seemingly unscathed.  You realized you were right back at square one.  You would have to do some WORK.  You would have to work on yourself and your ability to forgive.

Anger can be the tie that binds a person to a non-forgiving heart.  There is such a thing as "just anger", but we would do well to look to the saints for their wisdom on this topic.  In Saint Alphonsus Liguori's "On the Vice of Anger", he points to Saint Bonaventure who states that an angry man is incapable of distinguishing between what is just and unjust ("Iratus non potest videre quod justum est, vel injustum").  He also quotes Saint Jerome saying that anger is the door by which all vices enter the soul ("Omnium vitiorum janua est iracundia").  Saint Alphonsus himself says that "to be angry against sin is not anger, but zeal; and therefore it is not only lawful, but it is sometimes a duty. But our anger must be accompanied with prudence, and must appear to be directed against sin, but not against the sinner; for if the person whom we correct, perceive that we speak through passion and hatred towards him, the correction will be unprofitable and even mischievous. To be angry, then, against a brother's sin, is certainly lawful."

So when is it just or unjust?  Do we have a right to feel anger for sinful actions of another?  We can lawfully feel anger towards the sin, but never the sinner.   It is then, as David said, we may be angry without sin. "Be ye angry, and sin not" - Psalm 4:5.  But to be angry against another on account of the sin which he has committed is not lawful.   In Psalm 140 and 141, David has so much beautiful wisdom for us.  Psalm 140 says, "Deliver me, O Lord, from evil men; preserve me from violent men, from those who devise evil in their hearts, and stir up wars every day.  They make their tongues sharp as those of serpents; the venom of asps is under their lips."  Psalm 141 goes on to say, "O Lord, set a watch before my mouth, a guard at the door of my lips.  Let not my heart incline to the evil of engaging in deeds of wickedness with men who are evildoers; and let me not partake of their dainties.  Let the just man strike me; that is kindness; let him reprove me; it is oil for the head, which my head shall not refuse, but I will still pray under these afflictions...For toward you, O God, my Lord, my eyes are turned; in you I take refuge; strip me not of life.  Keep me from the trap they have set for me, and from the snares of evildoers.  Let all the wicked fall, each into his own net, while I escape."  So it seems David is calling out for help when feeling the trappings of sin when one sins against him.  He emphatically states he will continue to do one important thing..."pray under these afflictions".  He gives us that as the key to escaping sin while "the wicked fall".

St. Thomas points out that "anger, when fully voluntary, is  accompanied with a desire of revenge. (Ira est appetitus vindictoe)".   Anger is like trying to tame a bucking bronco and revenge may end up like you flailing wildly to the ground.  For, St. Alphonsus asks, "Who, I ask, has told you, that you have just grounds for seeking revenge? It is you, whose understanding is clouded by passions, that say so. I have already said, that anger obscures the mind, and takes away our reason and understanding."  It is the anger one must move past in order to forgive as so many saints point out that anger clouds and "obscures" our reasoning.  And as David wisely instructs us, we must pray through our injustices and completely trust in God.  You cannot walk through your anger, resentment, feelings of revenge, and pride without the unending aid and comfort of our Lord.  How would you or could you do this alone?  It may feel like you are alone and abandoned in your time of despair, but you are not.

Ultimately, all we need to do is to look to the cross.  Think how alone Jesus felt in the Garden of Gethsemane the night before his crucifixion.  Did he feel abandoned?  By his apostles?  His followers?  His own Father in Heaven???  He knew what his sentence was, but He also knew the truth - God's truth - which so many refused to believe at the time.  Jesus is the ultimate example of abandoning your will to God's will.  We do not always know why we are in the situations we are in, or why we experience the pain we sometimes feel, but God has an ultimate plan for us all.  As believers we turn our sights to God and His will at ALL times - not just when it's convenient for us.  Forgiving is just that - it is turning our sights to God, not to the evil or wrongdoers in our lives.  Surely if we do not turn our sights to God, evil will take a stranglehold on our hearts and minds as we pursue an avenue of anger, hatred, and revenge.   Look to Jesus crucified and our injustices will pale in comparison.

"Let all bitterness, and anger, and indignation, and clamor, and blasphemy, be put away from you, with all malice." - Ephesians 4:31


p.s.  On a lighter note, my delay in writing can be directly attributed to two rounds of sicknesses going through the house, teaching a Bible study course on the Virgin Mary, preparing for a storm that never really hit us, and ALL of the Halloween festivities (costume buying, candy buying and buying and buying, parades, classroom volunteering, baking cupcakes and cookies, trunk or treating, and neighborhood trick or treating).  Lord have mercy, let me get through Thanksgiving and Christmas in a calm and patient manner and let me easily forgive anyone who cuts me off on the road (presumably on their way to some awesome sale) or cuts in front of me in long holiday lines!

Respect Life Sunday

Every year on Respect Life Sunday, I always think back to two things that I will never forget.  The first is a photo I saw a couple of years ago of a tiny baby  - only 8weeks gestation still in its sac  - taken from its mother's womb because she had cancer and her entire uterus had to be removed.  The image is so vivid in my mind today as the first time I saw it because it is just that powerful.  So many women abort their babies at that gestational age not knowing it is a "baby".  Women are told by their doctors, myself included, that it is just a clump of cells at that stage.  Here is the image:

Can you really say that is just a clump of cells?  That is LIFE!  It is a miraculous photo in and of itself, but it also serves to prove the baby at such a young gestational age is just that... a very tiny baby.  That is a beautiful baby given to its mother and father as a beautiful gift of love from God.  Women are aborting out of ignorance and fear.  Either they are ignorant of the fact it is truly a baby, or they are ignorant of the way in which it will meet its death at the hands of a so-called surgeon, or they know both but don't care because their fear is gripping.  They fear losing their boyfriends or husbands or extended family.  They fear not being able to provide.  They fear not being able to be the "perfect mother".  They fear they might lose out on their "single life".  What ever the reasons are, they are wrong and absolutely misguided.  The saddest part is that deep down, women know the cells growing exponentially inside their wombs are babies from the moment of conception.  My first miscarriage was difficult at just six weeks because I knew it was a baby and I was already in love. When my fourth baby's heart stopped beating at nine weeks, mine did too - for a looooong moment.  A piece of me died each time I lost a baby.  We know the truth.  Somehow, we don't even need an ultrasound to tell us the image above is what our babies look like in the first trimester.  We just know.

The other thing I think of every Respect Life Sunday is a homily I heard on this day several years ago.  The priest gave such a powerful homily about every topic pertaining to respecting the sanctity of marriage and families.  He spoke about chastity and the issues that arise when you aren't chaste.  It was powerful and charged.  Most of the church wanted to stand up and cheer when he was finished.  I know some wanted to and did walk out.  That is okay.  Perhaps they were in the wrong church.  The Catholic Church has always been and always will be pro-life.  I know there are many many many very brave priests across our nation who are speaking out about pro-life issues.  They are not shy when it comes to teaching the catechism, and they don't apologize for our teachings.  I do know it is a difficult topic because at any given mass there are multitudes of women sitting in the pews who have had abortions, but this day's homily could be used in a number of ways ~ perhaps reaching out to those who are suffering; offering forgiveness, help, and healing.  Today, my parish priests chose to say nothing about Respect Life Sunday.  That is a difficult pill to swallow when you are the Respect Life Rep.  Difficult pill.  Perhaps God is trying to teach me to be more patient in my life.  He is hitting me where it hurts.  So, today I thought back to that awesome homily I heard a few years back and prayed more parishes across the country today were hearing homilies similar to that one.  LIFE emanates from God.  If we don't do everything we can to protect it, what are we saying in the face of God?  What are we doing as Christians ~ followers of Christ ~ to protect the lives that were so worth saving that Jesus died on a cross for them?  Are we doing everything we can?

One Bread, One Body

Last year, one of the priests at my parish asked me if I would be willing to put together a healing mass for "women only".  It would be a mass in honor of Our Lady of Sorrows, whose feast day is September 15th.  It would be a mass for women to come and lay any and all of their burdens at the foot of the cross - whether it ranged from abuse and abortion to the everyday trials and responsibilities of caring for a house and family.  I of course said "yes"!  God bless this priest for hearing God's call to heal His daughters.

Tonight was the 2nd Annual Women's Healing Mass.  There were about 65 ladies in attendance, which is pretty good on a Monday evening.  I didn't care if only one showed up.  I knew it would be what God wanted it to be.  After the homily, we had a candlelighting ceremony.  Each person got a small votive, lit it from one of the altar candles, and left it in a candelabra next to the altar or on a small table in front of the altar.  The Holy Spirit's presence was powerful - overwhelming, in fact.  I felt completely swept up in joy as the burden of carrying my crosses had just been lifted.  We prayed, we cried, we leaned on one another, we opened our hearts to Jesus, we listened, we walked to the altar, and we left our burdens in the form of a beautiful light burning bright for Jesus.  Once all the candles had been placed, the lights glowed together as one.  We were united as women of God in our sufferings.  During communion, once again, the Holy Spirit was moving powerfully through the Church - through each of us.  I could feel it.  I felt every one of the ladies' pains...and then I felt an overwhelming joy to the depths of my soul.  I knew something very special was happening tonight.

The week prior, our musician had asked me for some suggested songs.  The first one that popped into my head was "One Bread, One Body", and I could not get it out of my head.  I've been singing it all week!  I can't even remember the last time we sang that song at my parish. I was hoping she would play it during communion, yet she played two other songs first.  I sat there thinking, "Darn, she's not going to play it."  Well, she began playing it just as the last few women were receiving communion, and so we sat there - in complete grace - singing that song.  These sixty or so women were singing that song louder than at a Sunday service.  It was absolutely the right song choice!  In those moments, we were all connected by the Eucharist - by our Lord flowing through our blood.  We truly were one bread and one body...and we were praying for our own intentions whilst lifting each other up in turn.

p.s.  Think about starting one of these masses at your own parish.  We women have a very important role in the salvation of God's people.  We must do all we can to lift each other up!

I found this youtube clip of this song with the words.  Enjoy!  We are so blessed to be Catholics!!!

Blog Update + Mass With Kids? Sure!!!

Hello everybody, I just wanted you to know that I am shutting down the 2nd blog "Agnes Day".  I was beginning to feel a little schizo having to think of two blogs at one time.  Sooo, I will transfer some of the old posts over here.  Sorry for any confusion.  I will be much happier with my one blog - which means better writing :)  Have a blessed day!

Here is a posting I wrote September 4th:

Mass With Kids?  Sure!  Give it a Try!

This past Sunday, I was sitting in mass and I realized that all my children were quiet and happy sitting with us there in the back row.  Yay!  We were successful!  And by successful, I mean no one was randomly talking VERY LOUDLY, no one was whining "I'm bored", no sippy cups were falling during those quiet times in mass, no one needed to go potty, no one was fighting, no one needed to be cleaned head to toe from a mere "snack", and I wasn't on the floor cleaning up that "snack"!

I know just how challenging it can be to bring children of any age to mass - much less bringing many of them all at once - but it can be done.  I want to encourage anyone reading who might be forgoing mass during those baby/toddler years because it's just too much work.  Sometimes, some children might need to stay home during a few months of their lives (this was the case with all of my boys around the year and a half mark), but keep at it.  Be persistent.

The more you go, the more the kids see it as routine.  It will just be the thing the family does all together on Sunday.  I do have some helpful tips I'd like to share:

1.  If you have a newborn and he/she cries, you can feed (nurse) right there or walk in the back of the church or cry room.

2.  Pack a "mass bag" for toddlers and older children.  Let them pick their goodies which could include sticker books, short books, coloring books, blank paper, pencils, washable crayons, small dolls, favorite blankie, etc.

3.  Bring a simple snack that won't make a mess if spilled - goldfish are the worst offender.  I can't tell you how many times I've stepped on goldfish dust on the floor in the back of our church.  Try dried apples, bananas, raisins, cranberries, cheerios, fruit leather, and crackers/cereal (if you manage it). Remember to clean up after yourselves!

4.  Try to sit strategically so younger children are placed between mom and dad and older children.

5.  Let your younger children pick out their clothes (give them some appropriate choices) - if you fight with them to wear something they don't like, it's just one more thing they won't like about mass.

6.  Try not to rush the morning, but if you're rushed, don't yell!  Yelling hasn't really gotten me anywhere.  Trust me, I've tried it!  It's not a great way to start your Sunday.

7.  Praise your teenagers and older children in front of the younger children.  It's important for the older ones to know how much you appreciate their good behavior and how great it is they're "showing up for God".  It's also great for the younger ones to see them as role models.

8.  You can make a family outing, such as lunch, after mass a part of your routine if you're able.  It makes for a wonderful family day and kids will look forward to it.  It's worth not going out all week and saving the money just for Sunday.

9.  Sit near an escape route!  I can't tell you how crucial this is.  As much as you think your kids are perfect, every now and then they will need to leave for various reasons.  It's difficult for those around you to see, hear, and focus on the mass if the kids are squirmy and loud.  The back of the church is kind of like a given that it's for the families with little ones - that is if you don't have a "cry room".  If there are adults back there who are annoyed by your family, I say, "too bad - you knew what you were in for when you sat there"!

10.  Finally and most importantly, set a good example for your children before, during, and after.  Children watch and listen like hawks and they are the ultimate imitators.  Be positive, be patient, and be persistent.

I hope these tips help.  Persistence is really the key.  There have been times when one of our boys was just too much and too loud to handle, so we would go to mass in shifts - my husband at one time and me at another.  Sometimes a little one just needs a little walk around the back of the church or even outside for five minutes.  Don't deny yourself the graces that come from spending time with our Lord.  He knows you're there.  It's not crucial that you don't hear the homily.  Remember, we're Catholic - the homily is not the point of mass.  You're there for receiving the Eucharist.  I encourage anyone reading who has been avoiding mass to give it a try and leave me a note to let me know how it's going.  If anyone else has any other tips, please feel free to share!  You won't regret going to mass - Jesus is there and he wants you there too.  God bless and may you have many happy Sundays together as a family!!!

Respect Life and The Road to Emmaus

This past Saturday, my parish hosted the Archdiocese of Miami Respect Life Ministry's Annual Luncheon.  It was an all day affair complete with speakers, video presentations, mass, a catered lunch, and awards presentations.  Since I am the Respect Life representative for my parish, that meant I was in charge...even though I know full well God is always in charge!  It was a beautiful day even though we were in the beginning stages of a tropical storm named Isaac - currently about to hit New Orleans as a hurricane. The rain and wind only kept about 25 people away - which isn't bad considering our diocese is so large; including Dade (Miami) and Broward (Ft.Lauderdale) counties.

It went off without a hitch.  I had a team of volunteers comprised of adults and teenagers (my son and his friends) come in and serve lunch to each table, pour water and iced tea, clear it all away, and then break it all down at the end of the event and reset the hall for mass, as our church is also the parish hall. To see the willing adults and teens give up their Saturday for an opportunity to serve the Lord in this way was truly awesome to witness.

During mass, my pastor asked me to come up to the pulpit after communion and say a few words of thanks.  I knew I'd be a little nervous, but when I got up there and looked at the multitudes of beautiful pro-life faces, I became overwhelmed.  Here I was on the altar getting ready to speak to some of Christ's soldiers, and who was I to address them?  I surely felt Christ's presence on the altar.  We had all just consumed him in the Eucharist.  He was now flowing through our blood and we were as one body.    I got choked up, but thanked everyone for fighting for the truth and for fighting for Him - not just in their parishes, but everyday in every aspect of their lives.   I saw truth and beauty staring back at me in the faces of young and old, male and female all fighting for LIFE.  

For months, I had been concerned about our event coinciding with another event at our parish on the same day - one that would need the kitchen as well.  It was a bit of a scheduling snafu and I was a little upset at first, but then I gave it over to the Lord and trusted in His ways.  The day would be the way He wanted it to be.  The other event I'm speaking of is one called Emmaus.  It is a Catholic weekend retreat, based on the "Road to Emmaus" story in the Bible, meant to deepen your relationship with or begin your relationship with Christ. I had actually gone through Emmaus two years ago, and as a result I became the Respect Life Ministry head for our parish where we had not really had a ministry there before.  So, as the morning preparations were underway, people were filing into the Church, and volunteers were diligently working in the kitchen, it struck me that the scheduling snafu would not even be occurring if it hadn't been for me going through Emmaus.  Wow!  This Archdiocesan Respect Life luncheon would not even be occurring at our parish this year had I not gone through the Emmaus retreat two years earlier.  How awesome our God is! Someone told me that the Emmaus retreat is like an onion - you keep peeling away layers as time goes on.  True in my case; very true.

How wonderful our Lord is that He would wait on a lowly servant such as myself, put me to work at this life-saving ministry, only to put these two programs (Respect Life and Emmaus) head-to-head.  I almost wonder how sad it would be had I not realized the connection.  What if I had just been upset about the two events coinciding on the same day - even though I had scheduled my event before the Emmaus weekend.  What if my pride had stood in the way of recognizing what God had used me for and how He continues to use me?  What if I had been selfish and demanded Emmaus move their weekend?  I trusted in the Lord.  I knew it was happening for a reason, and that reason became evident to me Saturday morning.  It's difficult to put our pride aside and stop trying to rule the roost, but I can tell you it never ends well if you don't.  God is clearly in charge and He has a mission for each one of us if we listen!