Healing Mass for Women to Honor Our Lady of Sorrows

I've been praying about the Respect Life ministry at my Church.  It is a ministry of two - a friend of mine and me.  It is also a fledgling. There really haven't been any pro-life activities there in the past, so I don't have much guidance and I sometimes get frustrated because I don't know where it's going.  I find myself frequently reminding myself, "I'm not in control, I'm not in control, I'm not in control," and "it's on His timetable not mine."

I had been feeling like I wanted the ministry to go in the direction of helping women.  I just felt very strongly that there a lot of hurting women out there who need consoling, help, and our prayers.  I was thinking mostly about post-abortive women.  I think there are more of them out there than we know.  It generally isn't something women talk about, but I, for one, know three women close to me who have had abortions, so there must be countless others.  I'm sure there are many women sitting in mass each week who live with the pain of a past abortion, and we as a Church community need to help.  

The start of the school year and the first round of viruses just about knocked me down (thus the hiatus from blogging and tweeting), and I haven't had the time to devote to the ministry.  All I knew was that Respect Life month was coming up in October, I'll be including pro-life material in the weekly Church bulletins in October, and beyond that I wanted to get on with my plan to help the women in our parish in some way.  I didn't know how, but that was the plan!

Two weeks ago, our resident retired priest asked if he could get involved with my ministry.  He said he felt a calling to help women - that we have problems and sorrows particular only to women.  Ummm, what?  I wanted to look up at the ceiling of my Church and say, "Thank you God!"  Boy, someone heard me on that prayer.  Anyway, he called me a couple days later and said he had an idea for a healing mass for women on the Feast Day of Our Lady of Sorrows (Sept. 15th).  I thought it was such a beautiful idea and I of course said yes and that I would help him however he needed it.  I immediately thought of the song, "Hail Mary; Gentle Woman."  Our music director rarely plays it, but my former parish did and I really miss singing it.  I almost requested it the week prior, but decided to completely leave the entire mass in God's hands.  I knew it would be exactly what it was supposed to be, not what I wanted it to be.  Lo and behold, our music director played the song as we went up for Communion.  It was such a wonderful surprise.

Long story short, the mass was tonight and it was beautiful.  The lights in the Church were low, the music was beautiful, our priest was personable and humble, and I could tell many women were feeling our Lord's arms around them.  Before the Eucharist, each woman was invited to come up to the altar with a small votive candle, light it from the large candle in front of the altar, and then place it in either the candelabras to the sides of the altar or on a small table in front of the altar with a picture of Mary smiling at Jesus. Once everyone had placed their candles, those were the only lights in the Church...just beautiful.

Even though I was sort of "working" I was trying so hard to be present in the mass as well.  I thought I would be bringing to the altar the many trials I go through on a daily basis just being a mother...and then I found myself grieving for my two babies I lost in utero.  Even though I had grieved for them many times in the past, I had never laid them in God's arms in my mind.  I lit my candle for my two babies I never got to hold, and I set my candle before Mary.  I handed my babies to Mary and placed them in Her care for all eternity.  I could never understand the pain She went through losing Jesus the way She did but I know She understands my loss.

God is mysterious and awesome.  He always seems to surprise me, and yet be a solid rock on which I can stand.  This was a beautiful evening filled with God's healing power.  It seemed as if many women walked away healed.  I hope some of them did.  As for me, I went to help my priest, to help women in our parish, and I walked away with closure over losing my two babies.  I left my pain at the foot of the Cross, and I left my babies in Mary's arms.