In the early years of my marriage, I had thought that I would work in the pro-life arena at some point in the future. I wasn't ready then. I wasn't even sure I was 100% pro-life (you know, what about the whole rape issue? or incest?). Over time, fifteen years to be exact, my heart softened, my eyes were opened, and my ears heard God's calling. Last year at this time is when I officially joined the pro-life movement as my parish's respect life coordinator. I don't do anything unless I'm certain, and of this I was certain.
This is how the story goes...
Last September (2010) I was on facebook and noticed that Fr. Mitch Pacwa and Johnette Benkovic would be appearing together in Nebraska, I believe it was, for a pro-life something or other. I commented on the posting something to the effect of "please please please come down here to South Florida!" I received a very nice email the next day from Fr. Mitch's marketing person inviting me to Florida's statewide Respect Life conference in October. I sat in front of the computer speechless. I sat and stared at the computer because I had said that when the time was right for me to get involved, God would let me know. Well, I had just received a formal invitation. I ran to tell my husband and he smiled and said, "you always said God would let you know when the time was right."
I had just attended my parish's women's Emmaus retreat in August, so I decided to send out an invitation to the women for the Respect Life Conference in October. I received a beautiful email from one of the women saying that she had been officially in charge of the Respect Life ministry at our parish for several years, but had been unable to do anything with it other than her adoration group because of personal time constraints. I didn't even know we had a ministry at church - never saw anything in the bulletins regarding pro-life work. That had always bothered me, actually. She asked if I would consider being the new coordinator for the parish. I laughed as if I was being tickled. It was just too perfect...one invitation after another. She said she had been praying for three years for a young mother to step forward and take over. Too perfect! I laughed, called her, and exuberantly said, "YES!" (with the pastor's approval of course)
Not long after, I was told that our parish had already volunteered itself as the host parish for the annual Walk for Life which would be occurring in January...and I was now in charge of it! Well, at five months pregnant with our fourth child, I can tell you that it seemed like a daunting task. It ended up being an amazingly beautiful morning with a mass, exposition of the Holy Eucharist, adoration for those who did not want to or could not walk, the walk (the pathway decorated with pink and blue balloons and color signs with photographs of a baby's growth in utero), procession with the Holy Eucharist, and Benediction. It humbled me for sure.
There was a dark moment in November, however, when I became discouraged and thought it would be a disaster. I had been praying about it for a week and was losing hope in its success. One night, I sat down at our computer to fix a printer problem. Long story short, I had to download software from the internet to fix the problem. It was midnight and sitting in front of the computer, staring at the screen waiting for the download, I fell asleep three different times. When the download was done, it prompted me to print something to see if it was working. I went into my documents and looked for something short to print. I couldn't see the actual words as the icons were too small, but I saw a page with what looked like one sentence on it. I actually laughed out loud, in my exhaustion stupor, at the idiot who would save a one sentence document. Anyway, it would be used to my advantage that night. I hit print, sat down and closed my eyes again. I opened them again about fifteen minutes later (another short nap), pulled out the paper and read the sentence. It read, "Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." (I later found out this had been one of my oldest son's school projects from two years prior.)
I fell back in my chair and stared at that paper reading it over and over...as it was the same message I had received in my Emmaus retreat a few months earlier. I swear! On the last day of the retreat, we picked our seat. Each seat had a placemat facedown. We were asked to turn it over and read the scripture passage. This had been mine. I had been feeling unjustly persecuted by my family at the time of my retreat and it brought me to tears. As I sat there that night in front of my computer with my printout in my hand with the same scripture passage, I was overwhelmed with God's mercy and love. I had been feeling so overwhelmed with the planning of the walk and not getting much help as my ministry was a ministry of one. God does work in mysterious ways, but sometimes He is like a 2x4 to the head. Jesus would be with me on that walk, planning and all.
Mary had led me to Jesus during my conversion to Catholicism, Mary had led me to motherhood all those years ago in my early teaching days with the Carmelite sisters, my motherhood led me to the road to Emmaus where I finally encountered Christ face to face. He had always been there. He was now reassuring me He would continue to be here. I would persevere for Him, for God's kingdom...for God's children. Here's to saying YES to LIFE!!!
Here are some photos from the fruits of that labor...the Walk for Life January 2011:
