Friday, September 30, 2011
He Loves You Anyway
This is by far my favorite song right now...
Have you found that in times of stress, it is easier to sin? Have you found that in times of stress, you may snap at your spouse, your children, parents, siblings, friends, coworkers, or just simply the cashier at the grocery store? In times of stress, have you found that you begin to dislike your own life situations and want someone else's? Have you envied another or been jealous...especially in those times of stress? Have you even lied - maybe just to save your own hide? In times of stress, have you stolen because you didn't think you could pay for it on your own? Have you cheated your way through anything? In times of stress, have you felt so alone or sad or dejected that you actually consciously begin walking backwards away from God's presence...His grace...His everyday miracles...His love?
Stress in our lives can cause us to behave irrationally and counter to God's teachings. The amazing thing is that God sent His Son to earth to die on the cross for our sins. God loves all of His creation that much. If you are feeling the effects from stress, remember that God will never give you a cross that is too heavy for you to carry. He made our shoulders broad so that we could carry that cross. If you have found yourself in a particularly sinful state, you might want to speak with a priest. Christ is waiting for you. He loves you and is waiting for your repentance. You are not alone in your sins. We are all sinners just wading through the murky waters of life. Let Christ help you. And know that He loves you anyway.
"I am the thorn in your crown, but you love me anyway.
I am the sweat from your brow, but you love me anyway.
I am the nail in your wrist, but you love me anyway.
I am Judas' kiss, but you love me anyway.
...but you love me anyway. It's like nothing in life that I've ever known." ~Sidewalk Prophets
Friday, September 16, 2011
Healing Mass for Women to Honor Our Lady of Sorrows
I've been praying about the Respect Life ministry at my Church. It is a ministry of two - a friend of mine and me. It is also a fledgling. There really haven't been any pro-life activities there in the past, so I don't have much guidance and I sometimes get frustrated because I don't know where it's going. I find myself frequently reminding myself, "I'm not in control, I'm not in control, I'm not in control," and "it's on His timetable not mine."
I had been feeling like I wanted the ministry to go in the direction of helping women. I just felt very strongly that there a lot of hurting women out there who need consoling, help, and our prayers. I was thinking mostly about post-abortive women. I think there are more of them out there than we know. It generally isn't something women talk about, but I, for one, know three women close to me who have had abortions, so there must be countless others. I'm sure there are many women sitting in mass each week who live with the pain of a past abortion, and we as a Church community need to help.
The start of the school year and the first round of viruses just about knocked me down (thus the hiatus from blogging and tweeting), and I haven't had the time to devote to the ministry. All I knew was that Respect Life month was coming up in October, I'll be including pro-life material in the weekly Church bulletins in October, and beyond that I wanted to get on with my plan to help the women in our parish in some way. I didn't know how, but that was the plan!
Two weeks ago, our resident retired priest asked if he could get involved with my ministry. He said he felt a calling to help women - that we have problems and sorrows particular only to women. Ummm, what? I wanted to look up at the ceiling of my Church and say, "Thank you God!" Boy, someone heard me on that prayer. Anyway, he called me a couple days later and said he had an idea for a healing mass for women on the Feast Day of Our Lady of Sorrows (Sept. 15th). I thought it was such a beautiful idea and I of course said yes and that I would help him however he needed it. I immediately thought of the song, "Hail Mary; Gentle Woman." Our music director rarely plays it, but my former parish did and I really miss singing it. I almost requested it the week prior, but decided to completely leave the entire mass in God's hands. I knew it would be exactly what it was supposed to be, not what I wanted it to be. Lo and behold, our music director played the song as we went up for Communion. It was such a wonderful surprise.
Long story short, the mass was tonight and it was beautiful. The lights in the Church were low, the music was beautiful, our priest was personable and humble, and I could tell many women were feeling our Lord's arms around them. Before the Eucharist, each woman was invited to come up to the altar with a small votive candle, light it from the large candle in front of the altar, and then place it in either the candelabras to the sides of the altar or on a small table in front of the altar with a picture of Mary smiling at Jesus. Once everyone had placed their candles, those were the only lights in the Church...just beautiful.
Even though I was sort of "working" I was trying so hard to be present in the mass as well. I thought I would be bringing to the altar the many trials I go through on a daily basis just being a mother...and then I found myself grieving for my two babies I lost in utero. Even though I had grieved for them many times in the past, I had never laid them in God's arms in my mind. I lit my candle for my two babies I never got to hold, and I set my candle before Mary. I handed my babies to Mary and placed them in Her care for all eternity. I could never understand the pain She went through losing Jesus the way She did but I know She understands my loss.
God is mysterious and awesome. He always seems to surprise me, and yet be a solid rock on which I can stand. This was a beautiful evening filled with God's healing power. It seemed as if many women walked away healed. I hope some of them did. As for me, I went to help my priest, to help women in our parish, and I walked away with closure over losing my two babies. I left my pain at the foot of the Cross, and I left my babies in Mary's arms.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Thoughts on Hurricanes
Living through Hurricane Andrew was an experience I don't really want to repeat, but one that brought about several lessons. First, prepare, prepare, prepare. Secondly, don't hold on (emotionally) to material possessions because they truly become dust in the wind. Lastly, after the storm passes, the sun will come out and the weather will be balmy and beautiful (at least for a day).
As Hurricane Irene made its way scarily close to us on Thursday, the weather was horrible. We were pretty much shut in the house all day because the squalls were so unpredictable and came with inordinate amounts of rain and wind. Even though I needed to go to the grocery store, I decided to stay in with the kids and pull out something from the freezer for dinner. Luckily, I had made spaghetti sauce last week and frozen the leftovers. The day was long being shut in, but I thought about the day after Andrew and particularly Wilma. I remember the weather being so windy and sunny. It was more like an early spring day. Our summers are so hot, humid, and usually still that the wind and cooler weather is like a little gift amidst the chaos in the aftermath.
So, I was thinking what the weather would be like on Friday. Lo and behold, I woke up Friday morning to one of the most glorious South Florida skies I have ever seen. The sky was blue blue blue and with very few clouds. The breezes were strong and the temps were below 90 - definitely a gift in the middle of August! I made sure I spent as much time as I could outside with the kids on Friday. It was so unusually beautiful for our time of year that it made me think of how all that big blue beautiful sky was there all along under that rain - it's just easy to forget when you can't see much beyond the end of your car in the sheets of rain.
In our lives, we endure many storms. It's difficult to see beyond them or our way out sometimes, but God is always there. He is always with us, like the blue sky. This time of year, it is easy to get bogged down under the pressures of daily family life with the advent of the new school year. There are a million responsibilities and it's easy to forget to breathe and remember what's important in life. The things that matter are the things that matter to God. It's not whether your kids have straight A's or if they're the best ball player or ballerina. What matters are your relationships with your family - your children and your husband or wife. Our lives are really made up of a lot of little storms with a few hurricanes thrown in. Our faith gets us through these storms. It's the faith in knowing that God's mercy is always there and that the calm is usually just around the corner. God has a plan for each of us and we are called to be faithful.
The three lessons I learned from Hurricane Andrew apply to our everyday lives. First, prepare: prepare your family for a life with Christ. Your only goal as a parent is to get your children to heaven. Secondly, don't worry about the trinkets and knick-knacks. They become dust in a hurricane and prove that God's love and mercy is always stronger than any problem we might be hanging on to. And lastly, as a sunny sky is almost always inevitable after a storm, so it is in your life. Walk with Christ always - even in your storms - and you will find love and mercy.
I pray tonight for the citizens of North Carolina and on up the Eastern Seaboard. May they all have minimal damage from Hurricane Irene, and may they see God's love and mercy even amidst this storm.
As Hurricane Irene made its way scarily close to us on Thursday, the weather was horrible. We were pretty much shut in the house all day because the squalls were so unpredictable and came with inordinate amounts of rain and wind. Even though I needed to go to the grocery store, I decided to stay in with the kids and pull out something from the freezer for dinner. Luckily, I had made spaghetti sauce last week and frozen the leftovers. The day was long being shut in, but I thought about the day after Andrew and particularly Wilma. I remember the weather being so windy and sunny. It was more like an early spring day. Our summers are so hot, humid, and usually still that the wind and cooler weather is like a little gift amidst the chaos in the aftermath.
So, I was thinking what the weather would be like on Friday. Lo and behold, I woke up Friday morning to one of the most glorious South Florida skies I have ever seen. The sky was blue blue blue and with very few clouds. The breezes were strong and the temps were below 90 - definitely a gift in the middle of August! I made sure I spent as much time as I could outside with the kids on Friday. It was so unusually beautiful for our time of year that it made me think of how all that big blue beautiful sky was there all along under that rain - it's just easy to forget when you can't see much beyond the end of your car in the sheets of rain.
In our lives, we endure many storms. It's difficult to see beyond them or our way out sometimes, but God is always there. He is always with us, like the blue sky. This time of year, it is easy to get bogged down under the pressures of daily family life with the advent of the new school year. There are a million responsibilities and it's easy to forget to breathe and remember what's important in life. The things that matter are the things that matter to God. It's not whether your kids have straight A's or if they're the best ball player or ballerina. What matters are your relationships with your family - your children and your husband or wife. Our lives are really made up of a lot of little storms with a few hurricanes thrown in. Our faith gets us through these storms. It's the faith in knowing that God's mercy is always there and that the calm is usually just around the corner. God has a plan for each of us and we are called to be faithful.
The three lessons I learned from Hurricane Andrew apply to our everyday lives. First, prepare: prepare your family for a life with Christ. Your only goal as a parent is to get your children to heaven. Secondly, don't worry about the trinkets and knick-knacks. They become dust in a hurricane and prove that God's love and mercy is always stronger than any problem we might be hanging on to. And lastly, as a sunny sky is almost always inevitable after a storm, so it is in your life. Walk with Christ always - even in your storms - and you will find love and mercy.
I pray tonight for the citizens of North Carolina and on up the Eastern Seaboard. May they all have minimal damage from Hurricane Irene, and may they see God's love and mercy even amidst this storm.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Have Kids and Dance with Them Like There's No Tomorrow!
Tonight, my husband came home from work and told me a story about something he saw today. Two "twenty-somethings" (a man and woman) were comparing pictures on their cell phones of their adorable, sweet....wait for it.........dogs. Apparently, their dogs had outfits, and cute poses, and fur "just so", and they were clearly VERY loved - or spoiled - however you want to look at it. Anyway, my husband said to them, "Man, you guys have got to have some kids." He said the look of disgust that came over their faces was quite a sight. They looked like he had just poured a drink in their lap, when all he did was mention the idea of having a child. The woman even said, "Kids? No way. I am NOT having kids. You can't put kids in kennels."
And there you have it, folks. This is how many of our twenty-somethings feel about God's greatest gift to them. So much of the time, we think we can do things our way and on our terms and on our timetables, only to be "schooled" by God. We think we can even tell God a thing or two. The one time, He actually asks us for our help in His creation, we turn our backs on Him. I hate to say this, but that woman is the prime example of so many who build portfolios and travel visas in their twenties and thirties only to find themselves lonely and depressed as they approach forty.
Of course, we have the pill to thank for our (ahem) liberation and the ability to work ourselves into the ground in pursuit of the latest designer handbag, pair of shoes, toy dog, or whatever. Things will never make one happy - NEVER. They are unfulfilling. It's like a sugar rush. You get so happy to have that bag of m&m's at 3pm, only to feel horrible at 4pm...longing for the meal. Children are your offspring. They are God's greatest gift to us. They fulfill our lives in ways we could never comprehend before having them - like a wonderful homecooked meal (that takes time and effort) compared to the vending machine candy. They are more than dressing them up in cute outfits and photographing them to show our colleagues and friends. They are most definitely all about sleepless nights, messy houses, dirty clothes, diapers, impromptu artwork on the walls, runny noses, fevers, tummy aches, sibling rivalries, spitting contests, wrestling, repeated questions, lots of arm folding and eye rolling, but they are also about sloppy kisses all over your face, out-of-the-blue hugs and kisses and i love yous, homemade cards, hand holding, wearing beloved hand-me-downs, bubbly bubble baths, craft making, artwork proudly displayed on the fridge, jammie time, silly toddler words and catchphrases you'll remember for a lifetime, anytime snuggles, tiny hands caressing your face, a baby's gaze into your eyes, a teenager's "thank you", storybook reading, family vacations (that are torture at the time, but you wouldn't trade those funny memories for anything), lots of dancing (especially to Barry White), and the greatest most unconditional love you could ever know. Our time on this earth is so limited and so precious. If you have children, hug and kiss them a LOT. Also, teach them how to be good parents - how to love children the way YOU love THEM. We have to stop this pervasive negative attitude towards "family". The time is right now. You can never regain yesterday.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Marriage: Outdated Institution or God's Gift to Us?
Apparently I have been living under a rock for the past twenty years because it seems like all of a sudden, very few young couples are getting married. Well, to loosely quote a noted celebrity, marriage is an outdated institution that has no place in our society anymore. REALLY? And what about all the images on tv that bombard our society with the idea that living together is not only okay, but expected and the "smart" way of entering a possible marriage?
One of my favorite guilty pleasures is watching "The Bachelor/Bachelorette". My husband likes to poke fun at my addiction to this show, but I can tell you I watch it closely and it is a sociological experiment. To watch many young men and women act (and dress) inappropriately, only to be crushed to find out they haven't been chosen is something to behold. In their moment of despair after just being "booted", they always lament the notion they will never find the love of their life and the mother or father to their future children. So, what I come away from that show with is that under the glamorous clothing, makeup, hairstyles...beneath the catfights...women want to be loved, to be made safe, and to be a wife and mother. Under the bravado, the pride, the large muscles, and GQ clothing, men want to be loved, to feel they are keeping a woman safe, and to be a husband and father. This is instinctual. This is how God created us.
Because I'm still nursing my baby girl, I get some time in front of the television. Really, the only time I get caught up on society at large is when I have a baby and am nursing. Once the baby turns one and I can give cow's milk, the tv usually gets turned off, the kids are runnin', and I'm runnin' right behind them. Nighttimes are filled with play, bath, and bedtime...and me passing out not long after. However, for the next six months or so, I'll get a lot of face time with the television. A channel I watch a lot is HGTV - for two reasons. I find it interesting to see how people live all around the world, and it's usually harmless if children are in the room. However, I have noticed a huge jump in the amount of young couples "making that leap" and buying their first house together - only, they're not married. It's all fine and dandy, but if one were to think this channel is portraying society at large, we are in a LOT of trouble.
I am noticing more and more a complete breakdown of the family unit - and I mean complete breakdown. We have gotten so far away from seeing a normal healthy family with two parents - male and female - that to show a family like that on television now would be insensitive...to all the "nontraditional" families. The more we see young couples living together and throwing away the sacrament of marriage, the more numb we become to all of the troubles that will stem from that. The Catholic Church is very clear about marriage as a sacrament, and once again She is wise.
When I was growing up, my dad always used to say that a woman should never first live with a man because there would be no incentive for the man to make her his wife. All of his selfish desires would be fulfilled. My dad was right. When a woman moves in with her boyfriend, she is most certainly giving up her purity. And for what? For the chance that he might make a real commitment to her by making her his wife at some future date? Many people would say why go through the legal hassles of a marriage when it will most likely end in divorce, which will bring even bigger legal hassles? There won't be any strings attached and the man or woman can walk away at anytime. Sounds tempting, but that is not how God designed us.
"To heal the wounds of sin, man and woman need the help of the grace that God in his infinite mercy never refuses them. Without his help man and woman cannot achieve the union of their lives for which God created them 'in the beginning'." (Catechism of the Catholic Church 1608)
So, in the beginning, God created man and woman to achieve a union of their lives. We are created from the beginning to find each other, love each other enough to make a sacramental bond, and work together at raising a family. Our spouses are gifts from God. Marriage is a gift from God. A marriage is about giving yourself over to another - completely. It is about loving the other so much you can't imagine a day without him/her. It is unselfish. It is giving. It is a completion of one's heart. The two hearts come together and form one, and in return for this selflessness God has granted us a gift of being fruitful and producing children - more children to enter into God's kingdom. Children are the fruits of a marriage and they learn respect and obedience in a family that they will take out into the world. A couple's mutual love is an image of the love God has for mankind. God's love for us is unending and unconditional. So too should our love be for our spouses.
So how can a couple say that they are loving unselfishly or unconditionally if they are merely living together with the idea that backing out altogether is always present within the relationship? No couple in love should start their lives together this way. They are not being "smart" by testing the waters. They are hurting each other and themselves. They are not respecting each other or themselves enough to make a commitment to the love of their lives. They are not really willing to completely give over their heart. If someone says, "well, we lived together to see if we were compatible living together," then I would say they didn't date long enough. Dating is the time when a couple should be learning as much as possible about the other person and asking the hard questions. I'm sorry, but society at large just doesn't have this one right.
One of my favorite guilty pleasures is watching "The Bachelor/Bachelorette". My husband likes to poke fun at my addiction to this show, but I can tell you I watch it closely and it is a sociological experiment. To watch many young men and women act (and dress) inappropriately, only to be crushed to find out they haven't been chosen is something to behold. In their moment of despair after just being "booted", they always lament the notion they will never find the love of their life and the mother or father to their future children. So, what I come away from that show with is that under the glamorous clothing, makeup, hairstyles...beneath the catfights...women want to be loved, to be made safe, and to be a wife and mother. Under the bravado, the pride, the large muscles, and GQ clothing, men want to be loved, to feel they are keeping a woman safe, and to be a husband and father. This is instinctual. This is how God created us.
Because I'm still nursing my baby girl, I get some time in front of the television. Really, the only time I get caught up on society at large is when I have a baby and am nursing. Once the baby turns one and I can give cow's milk, the tv usually gets turned off, the kids are runnin', and I'm runnin' right behind them. Nighttimes are filled with play, bath, and bedtime...and me passing out not long after. However, for the next six months or so, I'll get a lot of face time with the television. A channel I watch a lot is HGTV - for two reasons. I find it interesting to see how people live all around the world, and it's usually harmless if children are in the room. However, I have noticed a huge jump in the amount of young couples "making that leap" and buying their first house together - only, they're not married. It's all fine and dandy, but if one were to think this channel is portraying society at large, we are in a LOT of trouble.
I am noticing more and more a complete breakdown of the family unit - and I mean complete breakdown. We have gotten so far away from seeing a normal healthy family with two parents - male and female - that to show a family like that on television now would be insensitive...to all the "nontraditional" families. The more we see young couples living together and throwing away the sacrament of marriage, the more numb we become to all of the troubles that will stem from that. The Catholic Church is very clear about marriage as a sacrament, and once again She is wise.
When I was growing up, my dad always used to say that a woman should never first live with a man because there would be no incentive for the man to make her his wife. All of his selfish desires would be fulfilled. My dad was right. When a woman moves in with her boyfriend, she is most certainly giving up her purity. And for what? For the chance that he might make a real commitment to her by making her his wife at some future date? Many people would say why go through the legal hassles of a marriage when it will most likely end in divorce, which will bring even bigger legal hassles? There won't be any strings attached and the man or woman can walk away at anytime. Sounds tempting, but that is not how God designed us.
"To heal the wounds of sin, man and woman need the help of the grace that God in his infinite mercy never refuses them. Without his help man and woman cannot achieve the union of their lives for which God created them 'in the beginning'." (Catechism of the Catholic Church 1608)
So, in the beginning, God created man and woman to achieve a union of their lives. We are created from the beginning to find each other, love each other enough to make a sacramental bond, and work together at raising a family. Our spouses are gifts from God. Marriage is a gift from God. A marriage is about giving yourself over to another - completely. It is about loving the other so much you can't imagine a day without him/her. It is unselfish. It is giving. It is a completion of one's heart. The two hearts come together and form one, and in return for this selflessness God has granted us a gift of being fruitful and producing children - more children to enter into God's kingdom. Children are the fruits of a marriage and they learn respect and obedience in a family that they will take out into the world. A couple's mutual love is an image of the love God has for mankind. God's love for us is unending and unconditional. So too should our love be for our spouses.
So how can a couple say that they are loving unselfishly or unconditionally if they are merely living together with the idea that backing out altogether is always present within the relationship? No couple in love should start their lives together this way. They are not being "smart" by testing the waters. They are hurting each other and themselves. They are not respecting each other or themselves enough to make a commitment to the love of their lives. They are not really willing to completely give over their heart. If someone says, "well, we lived together to see if we were compatible living together," then I would say they didn't date long enough. Dating is the time when a couple should be learning as much as possible about the other person and asking the hard questions. I'm sorry, but society at large just doesn't have this one right.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Prayers Needed Across the Atlantic
Please pray for this woman and her family - especially her two small children and her baby growing inside her. She was recently diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer which has spread to her liver. She is only thirty one years old. Her blog is wonderful - drop her a line and let her know you're praying for her!
Stage 4 breast cancer..? But I wanna live forever!: A visit from More Nanny
Stage 4 breast cancer..? But I wanna live forever!: A visit from More Nanny
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
The Road to Emmaus
This time last year, we had only just recently found out I was pregnant. Wow...what would it be like having four children in the house? I had so many questions as to how we would manage. We don't have a ton of family help readily available, and I just found myself feeling a little overwhelmed. I had resigned myself to the fact that God was in control back on kid #2. Sooo, if I were to practice what I preached, I would have to relax and trust God with this one too.
This new baby would be blessing number four for us, and I was over-the-moon happy. Of course, I'd be lying if I didn't say I wondered if we would be buying any pink this time around, but I vowed I wouldn't go there. I was happy and wanted to stay that way. We decided not to find out if it would be a boy or a girl this time and just let it be. Man, that was a whole other issue that I could write an entire blog about. In my previous pregnancies, we had wanted to know "boy or girl" and it was always easy for the ultrasound technicians to see. The ultrasounds kind of went like this, "So you want to know? Okay, let's see if we see anything...Oh...Oh boy!!!!" With my third son, I found out by myself as my husband was home caring for our other two. I called him and said, "Well, it doesn't look like we'll need to buy new crib bedding."
This fourth baby was different though. I went for three ultrasounds - even paying for a fourth (the 4d) - and every time the baby was turned so no one could see. The baby was shy I thought. I had a hunch it was a girl, but I would never dare say that out loud. I just left each office visit with a big smile on my face as if it was a secret between the baby and me. Even if it had turned out to be a boy, I would have felt this really close special spiritual bond with that baby. It was as if the lines of communication were open and flowing but only between the baby and me. I reveled in it.
Okay, back to the "feeling overwhelmed" thing. Last summer, my church offered a women's Emmaus weekend retreat. For any of you who don't know what it is, it is a weekend to come to know Christ - either for the first time or to get to know him better. It is based on the Scripture passage about the two disciples who are walking on the road to the city of Emmaus soon after Jesus' death. They encounter Him on the road but do not recognize him. When they reach the city, they ask Him to stay and eat with them. "When he was at table with them, he took the bread and blessed and broke it, and gave it to them. And their eyes were opened and they recognized him; and he vanished out of their sight." Lk 24:30-32
Okay, so at this point in my life, I knew God was in control and I knew Christ had been calling me, and I knew his mother Mary had been pointing the way. Intellectually, I got all that, but I was feeling a little defeated - kind of like, "Aha! I got you when you weren't looking!" So I decided to sign myself up for the retreat in hopes that I would find out ways to be a better mother for my children. I hoped to get ideas about how to care for four children. Well, let's be honest, I was hoping angels would come down out of the ceiling and hand me all the answers written down neatly so I could easily and quickly refer back whenever an occasion should arise. Hmmmm
I went in looking for help in parenting, and I remember saying to God, "Okay, I'll go, but I'm not going to go looking for answers regarding my family. I don't even want to go there. Jesus, I'll go for you. I'll go for parenting tips and nothing else." I clearly hadn't gotten it yet! A few years back, I had attended a penance service at church and vowed to fight for Christ no matter what the cost would be. I lost my family soon after that. I had turned to St. Michael many times for strength during that period. (You can read about that story here: "Signing Up in Christ's Army" )
So, I signed myself up for the retreat and upon arrival on that first night, we were brought into a classroom and given a seating assignment. There were tables of about five or six chairs each. We were a large Emmaus group that year, twenty two I believe. One of the leaders told us which table we had been assigned, and said that each table had been given the name of an angel. I was pointed in the direction of the table to the right. My table was "St. Michael the Archangel". I literally laughed out loud. It was another "gotcha" moment, but in my stubbornness I thought it must refer to something else...it couldn't possibly have anything to do with my family. I was there to get parenting tips, after all.
On the second night of the retreat, we were brought to the church for confession and a small service afterwards. Well, I knew what I wanted to confess before I ever even walked in and thought "Great. This will be quick!" That's not really where my heart should have been before confessing...and Jesus knew that. The leaders were supposed to bring us up one by one. I sat in my chair ready to go. I waited and waited and waited...watched each woman go before me...and waited some more. People who know me know I don't wait well. I sat there thinking, "Why am I waiting here so long? Did they forget about me?" I dare say I might have had a temper tantrum in my head about having to wait (kind of an "Elaine moment" from Seinfeld). And then my line of questioning went to, "Okay, why are you making me wait here so long when you know that I have been ready to confess since I arrived?" Uh-oh, maybe Jesus was making me sit there and think about why I was really there that weekend. I hadn't wanted to think about my family. I just wanted parenting tips! I closed my eyes, humbled myself that night inside the church, and realized I needed to speak to Jesus about my relationship with my family. I agreed that's what I would do. Right then, one of the leaders tapped me on the shoulder and walked with me to the confessional. It was one of the greatest nights I have ever had. I walked out finally free...no more chains...Jesus had waited patiently for me to move through my selfishness and tantrums to finally come to Him in humility and ask for absolution.
There were a few other things that happened that weekend that are inexplicable except for the answer that with God all things are possible and Jesus is walking with us on our journeys. It's really a matter of whether or not we see Him. I went into the weekend with hesitation, wondering if I would get anything out of it and found myself sitting humbly with Christ, realizing it was He who had been waiting patiently for me all my life. He had always been there and was waiting for me to see Him. In my selfish request of wanting those elusive parenting tips, I came to terms with my relationship with my family and was able to finally move past it. I felt strength like I had never felt before. I had found those precious parenting tips...for how could I be a good mother if I was stuck in the past or feeling guilty or depressed. Jesus freed me that weekend so I could be a better mother to my four children. It's amazing how God works when we let go of that wheel knowing Christ is really the one who's been driving all along - leading us to his Father.
This new baby would be blessing number four for us, and I was over-the-moon happy. Of course, I'd be lying if I didn't say I wondered if we would be buying any pink this time around, but I vowed I wouldn't go there. I was happy and wanted to stay that way. We decided not to find out if it would be a boy or a girl this time and just let it be. Man, that was a whole other issue that I could write an entire blog about. In my previous pregnancies, we had wanted to know "boy or girl" and it was always easy for the ultrasound technicians to see. The ultrasounds kind of went like this, "So you want to know? Okay, let's see if we see anything...Oh...Oh boy!!!!" With my third son, I found out by myself as my husband was home caring for our other two. I called him and said, "Well, it doesn't look like we'll need to buy new crib bedding."
This fourth baby was different though. I went for three ultrasounds - even paying for a fourth (the 4d) - and every time the baby was turned so no one could see. The baby was shy I thought. I had a hunch it was a girl, but I would never dare say that out loud. I just left each office visit with a big smile on my face as if it was a secret between the baby and me. Even if it had turned out to be a boy, I would have felt this really close special spiritual bond with that baby. It was as if the lines of communication were open and flowing but only between the baby and me. I reveled in it.
Okay, back to the "feeling overwhelmed" thing. Last summer, my church offered a women's Emmaus weekend retreat. For any of you who don't know what it is, it is a weekend to come to know Christ - either for the first time or to get to know him better. It is based on the Scripture passage about the two disciples who are walking on the road to the city of Emmaus soon after Jesus' death. They encounter Him on the road but do not recognize him. When they reach the city, they ask Him to stay and eat with them. "When he was at table with them, he took the bread and blessed and broke it, and gave it to them. And their eyes were opened and they recognized him; and he vanished out of their sight." Lk 24:30-32
Okay, so at this point in my life, I knew God was in control and I knew Christ had been calling me, and I knew his mother Mary had been pointing the way. Intellectually, I got all that, but I was feeling a little defeated - kind of like, "Aha! I got you when you weren't looking!" So I decided to sign myself up for the retreat in hopes that I would find out ways to be a better mother for my children. I hoped to get ideas about how to care for four children. Well, let's be honest, I was hoping angels would come down out of the ceiling and hand me all the answers written down neatly so I could easily and quickly refer back whenever an occasion should arise. Hmmmm
I went in looking for help in parenting, and I remember saying to God, "Okay, I'll go, but I'm not going to go looking for answers regarding my family. I don't even want to go there. Jesus, I'll go for you. I'll go for parenting tips and nothing else." I clearly hadn't gotten it yet! A few years back, I had attended a penance service at church and vowed to fight for Christ no matter what the cost would be. I lost my family soon after that. I had turned to St. Michael many times for strength during that period. (You can read about that story here: "Signing Up in Christ's Army" )
So, I signed myself up for the retreat and upon arrival on that first night, we were brought into a classroom and given a seating assignment. There were tables of about five or six chairs each. We were a large Emmaus group that year, twenty two I believe. One of the leaders told us which table we had been assigned, and said that each table had been given the name of an angel. I was pointed in the direction of the table to the right. My table was "St. Michael the Archangel". I literally laughed out loud. It was another "gotcha" moment, but in my stubbornness I thought it must refer to something else...it couldn't possibly have anything to do with my family. I was there to get parenting tips, after all.
On the second night of the retreat, we were brought to the church for confession and a small service afterwards. Well, I knew what I wanted to confess before I ever even walked in and thought "Great. This will be quick!" That's not really where my heart should have been before confessing...and Jesus knew that. The leaders were supposed to bring us up one by one. I sat in my chair ready to go. I waited and waited and waited...watched each woman go before me...and waited some more. People who know me know I don't wait well. I sat there thinking, "Why am I waiting here so long? Did they forget about me?" I dare say I might have had a temper tantrum in my head about having to wait (kind of an "Elaine moment" from Seinfeld). And then my line of questioning went to, "Okay, why are you making me wait here so long when you know that I have been ready to confess since I arrived?" Uh-oh, maybe Jesus was making me sit there and think about why I was really there that weekend. I hadn't wanted to think about my family. I just wanted parenting tips! I closed my eyes, humbled myself that night inside the church, and realized I needed to speak to Jesus about my relationship with my family. I agreed that's what I would do. Right then, one of the leaders tapped me on the shoulder and walked with me to the confessional. It was one of the greatest nights I have ever had. I walked out finally free...no more chains...Jesus had waited patiently for me to move through my selfishness and tantrums to finally come to Him in humility and ask for absolution.
There were a few other things that happened that weekend that are inexplicable except for the answer that with God all things are possible and Jesus is walking with us on our journeys. It's really a matter of whether or not we see Him. I went into the weekend with hesitation, wondering if I would get anything out of it and found myself sitting humbly with Christ, realizing it was He who had been waiting patiently for me all my life. He had always been there and was waiting for me to see Him. In my selfish request of wanting those elusive parenting tips, I came to terms with my relationship with my family and was able to finally move past it. I felt strength like I had never felt before. I had found those precious parenting tips...for how could I be a good mother if I was stuck in the past or feeling guilty or depressed. Jesus freed me that weekend so I could be a better mother to my four children. It's amazing how God works when we let go of that wheel knowing Christ is really the one who's been driving all along - leading us to his Father.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Whoa! My Parenting Rules Changed! Fifteen Things Since Baby#4
Once I passed over the threshold of having three children I realized that some of the parenting rules had changed. When my oldest son was little he was an only child and as busy as I was being his mother, I can tell you the house was a LOT cleaner than it is today. I also wasn't late very often, I never missed an opportunity to take him to one of his friend's birthday parties, we ate out a lot more, his clothes were new, and I was able to keep up with the laundry.
At the end of this past school year, not only was I late (due to two diaper blowouts in the parking lot) to my preschooler's last day of school, but when I arrived, all the moms were crying and I asked ,"Why are you guys all so upset?" I was imagining a death in someone's family, but was met with,"Oh, this is their last day together." My confusion immediately turned into embarassment. What a horrible mother I was that I too wasn't sad. Well, maybe I would have been if it hadn't been for the diaper blowouts, baby girl strapped to my chest, and bam-bam my two year old son pulling on my arm. I was a little distracted these days, and it was probably a blessing. I couldn't help but think back to when my fifteen year old graduated from preschool and I was nuts about not missing a second! How things had changed! Luckily, my crying friends looked at me with those pitiful eyes and just waved off my ignorance as they had been doing all year.
I am not the same mother I was all those years ago, and that's okay. We're supposed to adapt to the needs of our children no matter how many we have, right? I do know the rules have changed a bit though.
Here are my top fifteen things I've learned since the arrival of baby #4:
1) It is impossible to keep all toys in their place at any given time. As a matter-of-fact, I'm convinced they reproduce if in one place for too long, so scatter them about!
2) It is not only okay to arrive an hour late to a birthday party but sort of expected, and really just considered great that you made it at all!
3) It is okay for my kids to miss brushing their teeth every now and then. They're baby teeth after all - they'll fall out anyway, right?
4) If my boys can still see out from under their hair, it doesn't need to be cut yet.
5) It's okay for my two year old's wardrobe to consist entirely of hand-me-downs. Ooh ooh, I have become a "green" mom!
6) I'm pretty convinced that a pop-tart is a nutritious start to the day. The box says it contains wheat, milk, egg, and soy. Doesn't get much better than that!
7) It's okay to occasionally forget to send in a required item to school for your child. You are "that mom with all those kids" afterall. That works for me!
8) If one kid gets sick, cease all cleaning immediately. The faster everybody gets sick, the faster you'll all get better...because you KNOW everyone will catch those nasty preschool germs anyway.
9) There's no use crying over spilled anything - it's a daily occurrence. Dogs are very useful here.
10) The five-second rule automatically gets revamped to whatever mom deems appropriate at the moment.
11) It's okay for everyone's drawers to be empty, the clean clothes are all folded and stacked on top of the dining room table. Much easier to find, right?
12) It's okay to leave the dishes in the sink and the house a disaster and go play with your kids outside. The Pope even just recently instructed parents to spend more time outdoor with their kids. That leaves less time for cleaning - woohoo! I knew I liked this Pope!
13) It's okay for baby's first foods to include big brother's green lollipop as recently discovered!
14) It's okay for the kids to skip their nightly bath every once in a while - especially if it means they'll all be in bed sooner!
15) It's NOT okay to not live in the moment and embrace each spill, sickness, ridiculous conversation, hug, or kiss whenever it comes along!
Happy parenting and may God bless you and your families - no matter the shape or size!
At the end of this past school year, not only was I late (due to two diaper blowouts in the parking lot) to my preschooler's last day of school, but when I arrived, all the moms were crying and I asked ,"Why are you guys all so upset?" I was imagining a death in someone's family, but was met with,"Oh, this is their last day together." My confusion immediately turned into embarassment. What a horrible mother I was that I too wasn't sad. Well, maybe I would have been if it hadn't been for the diaper blowouts, baby girl strapped to my chest, and bam-bam my two year old son pulling on my arm. I was a little distracted these days, and it was probably a blessing. I couldn't help but think back to when my fifteen year old graduated from preschool and I was nuts about not missing a second! How things had changed! Luckily, my crying friends looked at me with those pitiful eyes and just waved off my ignorance as they had been doing all year.
I am not the same mother I was all those years ago, and that's okay. We're supposed to adapt to the needs of our children no matter how many we have, right? I do know the rules have changed a bit though.
Here are my top fifteen things I've learned since the arrival of baby #4:
1) It is impossible to keep all toys in their place at any given time. As a matter-of-fact, I'm convinced they reproduce if in one place for too long, so scatter them about!
2) It is not only okay to arrive an hour late to a birthday party but sort of expected, and really just considered great that you made it at all!
3) It is okay for my kids to miss brushing their teeth every now and then. They're baby teeth after all - they'll fall out anyway, right?
4) If my boys can still see out from under their hair, it doesn't need to be cut yet.
5) It's okay for my two year old's wardrobe to consist entirely of hand-me-downs. Ooh ooh, I have become a "green" mom!
6) I'm pretty convinced that a pop-tart is a nutritious start to the day. The box says it contains wheat, milk, egg, and soy. Doesn't get much better than that!
7) It's okay to occasionally forget to send in a required item to school for your child. You are "that mom with all those kids" afterall. That works for me!
8) If one kid gets sick, cease all cleaning immediately. The faster everybody gets sick, the faster you'll all get better...because you KNOW everyone will catch those nasty preschool germs anyway.
9) There's no use crying over spilled anything - it's a daily occurrence. Dogs are very useful here.
10) The five-second rule automatically gets revamped to whatever mom deems appropriate at the moment.
11) It's okay for everyone's drawers to be empty, the clean clothes are all folded and stacked on top of the dining room table. Much easier to find, right?
12) It's okay to leave the dishes in the sink and the house a disaster and go play with your kids outside. The Pope even just recently instructed parents to spend more time outdoor with their kids. That leaves less time for cleaning - woohoo! I knew I liked this Pope!
13) It's okay for baby's first foods to include big brother's green lollipop as recently discovered!
14) It's okay for the kids to skip their nightly bath every once in a while - especially if it means they'll all be in bed sooner!
15) It's NOT okay to not live in the moment and embrace each spill, sickness, ridiculous conversation, hug, or kiss whenever it comes along!
Happy parenting and may God bless you and your families - no matter the shape or size!
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Chance Meeting or God's intervention?
Ever run into someone from your past and you think, "Wow, how cool was that?" Afterwards you realize that every part of that "chance" meeting was too perfect for it to be chance.
About a month before Easter, I began sitting in the back of the church for mass because I was worried the baby would begin fussing and I wouldn't be near that coveted escape route. I arrived at mass early just so I could attain that golden seat...last row, back corner, near the door! About twenty minutes into the service, the mother of an old friend walked into church. I had never seen her there before, and I hadn't seen my friend in about eight years. She stayed standing in the back and seemed to be looking for someone. Needless to say, I waited for just the right moment to be able to get up and go say hi. To make a long story short, we reunited and I was able to be reunited with her son, my old friend.
At Easter, he emailed to let me know he would be at church and he wanted me to meet his girlfriend. It was so great to get to see him after so many years and to get to meet his new love. I was so happy for him because he seemed so happy. A couple months went by and he emailed me again asking to speak with me. Uh-oh. I was worried. I called him that night after I got all the munchkins to bed, only to hear him say that his girlfriend was pregnant. Even though this was not the most idyllic situation, I, of course, was elated for him because I had always known he was born to be a father. I told him he'd be a wonderful dad and this baby was a gift from God. His voice sounded happy tempered with fear and doubt.
He called me the next week very upset because his girlfriend was contemplating abortion. He knew it was wrong but felt like he was doing the right thing in supporting whatever decision she made. I told him it was his choice too. He was the father and he had a voice as well. That was his baby as much as it was hers. I'm not sure he thought about that as our culture pounds it in to the brains of young people that it's only the mother's choice. The baby doesn't have a choice either? That baby was here for a reason and I had been placed back into my friend's life for a reason...and so I spoke up.
I told him about the Archdiocese Crisis Pregnancy Center where they could get help with baby items, counseling, parenting classes, and information about the life-long damaging effects of an abortion. I reminded him of how the Catholic Church views all abortion...it is murder. I also told him my husband and I would do whatever they needed if they kept the baby. I offered to babysit once he or she was born. We even offered to adopt if they felt they couldn't take care of their baby. I felt like I was racing against a time clock. Her family was in favor of the abortion and she was feeling pressured. I convinced my friend to take his girlfriend to the center. They went. He called me as soon as they left the center to let me know they had decided to keep the baby...that they could never go through with an abortion. He thanked me and told me he really didn't know what an abortion entailed. His girlfriend was really happy, and he was ecstatic. I was, well...over the moon!!! They came to visit a few days ago and they showed me the ultrasound picture of their baby. They both had it on their phones as their screen saver. I cried as soon as I saw their tiny precious baby. They were just like any other happy couple awaiting the arrival of their son or daughter. How everything changed in just a few days. As he put it, "It went from bad to awesome!" God saved their baby...I just happened to be in the right place at the right time!
About a month before Easter, I began sitting in the back of the church for mass because I was worried the baby would begin fussing and I wouldn't be near that coveted escape route. I arrived at mass early just so I could attain that golden seat...last row, back corner, near the door! About twenty minutes into the service, the mother of an old friend walked into church. I had never seen her there before, and I hadn't seen my friend in about eight years. She stayed standing in the back and seemed to be looking for someone. Needless to say, I waited for just the right moment to be able to get up and go say hi. To make a long story short, we reunited and I was able to be reunited with her son, my old friend.
At Easter, he emailed to let me know he would be at church and he wanted me to meet his girlfriend. It was so great to get to see him after so many years and to get to meet his new love. I was so happy for him because he seemed so happy. A couple months went by and he emailed me again asking to speak with me. Uh-oh. I was worried. I called him that night after I got all the munchkins to bed, only to hear him say that his girlfriend was pregnant. Even though this was not the most idyllic situation, I, of course, was elated for him because I had always known he was born to be a father. I told him he'd be a wonderful dad and this baby was a gift from God. His voice sounded happy tempered with fear and doubt.
He called me the next week very upset because his girlfriend was contemplating abortion. He knew it was wrong but felt like he was doing the right thing in supporting whatever decision she made. I told him it was his choice too. He was the father and he had a voice as well. That was his baby as much as it was hers. I'm not sure he thought about that as our culture pounds it in to the brains of young people that it's only the mother's choice. The baby doesn't have a choice either? That baby was here for a reason and I had been placed back into my friend's life for a reason...and so I spoke up.
I told him about the Archdiocese Crisis Pregnancy Center where they could get help with baby items, counseling, parenting classes, and information about the life-long damaging effects of an abortion. I reminded him of how the Catholic Church views all abortion...it is murder. I also told him my husband and I would do whatever they needed if they kept the baby. I offered to babysit once he or she was born. We even offered to adopt if they felt they couldn't take care of their baby. I felt like I was racing against a time clock. Her family was in favor of the abortion and she was feeling pressured. I convinced my friend to take his girlfriend to the center. They went. He called me as soon as they left the center to let me know they had decided to keep the baby...that they could never go through with an abortion. He thanked me and told me he really didn't know what an abortion entailed. His girlfriend was really happy, and he was ecstatic. I was, well...over the moon!!! They came to visit a few days ago and they showed me the ultrasound picture of their baby. They both had it on their phones as their screen saver. I cried as soon as I saw their tiny precious baby. They were just like any other happy couple awaiting the arrival of their son or daughter. How everything changed in just a few days. As he put it, "It went from bad to awesome!" God saved their baby...I just happened to be in the right place at the right time!
Friday, June 17, 2011
Father John Corapi: Will He Succeed as "The Black Sheep Dog"?
About three years ago, as I was pregnant with my third son, I sat on my family room sofa flipping channels in the middle of a weekday as my contractor worked in the background preparing our home for our new bambino. I flipped over to EWTN, and there before me was a phenomenal speaker; a priest. But this was a priest like none other I had ever seen or heard. His voice was very deep and he spoke as if he were St. Michael here on earth. I turned the volume up so high as to not miss one word - not one inflection. I listened intently as he spoke of the beauty of the Catholic Church and of his conversion of heart and entrance into the priesthood. It was such a great thing to watch and hear that when it was over, I was left with that same feeling one gets after having a fabulous dessert...thank you, but can I have more? I wanted to stand up on my sofa, big belly and all, and yell "Heck yea, that guy's on our team!"
I followed Father John Corapi off and on throughout these past few years...watching and listening. God surely blessed him with the gift of public speaking. If you watch him, he will rarely look at notes or even stumble over a word. I don't think I've even heard him say "um" or "uh", which is hard to do when publicly speaking. The conviction with which he spoke and the decided spirit was something to behold. He did not mince words - I believed in his message about spiritual warfare. I believe spiritual warfare is all around us as we whiz through our lives like spinning tops, bobbling to one side then the next as things slow down, only to be set spinning once again by one of life's peaks or valleys. Father Corapi fought the good fight against evil; against Satan. I have seen firsthand the games Satan and his minions enjoy playing at the expense of our souls. It is serious business.
So, here we are now at the onset of Father's Day weekend and a day away from Trinity Sunday. Coincidentally, Father Corapi was ordained a priest on Trinity Sunday, and he announced today, after twenty years as a priest, that he would be leaving the priesthood due to unproven claims (as of yet) that he was inappropriate in some manner with a woman with whom he worked. He vehemently proclaims his innocence. He says the Bishop would put him in a state of indefinite suspension, and I think the idea of that is intolerable to him. I have read the early blogs that are being written in response to his statement. Many are ready to leave him in the dust as he walks away from his priesthood. I understand that sentiment. He is supposed to submit to the Church and to his Bishop. I too wish his statement had been more from a point of humility. He sounded more like a man of this earth, than a man of the cloth.
This is a man, however, who had at one time been very wealthy - successful, if you will, by our modern standards. He is a go-getter. He's probably not one to stand idle. His latest book, an autobiography, "The Black Sheep Dog", was due to be released soon, so apparently he will be parlaying his ministry from a priestly one to one as a public speaker as the Black Sheep Dog. He says he wants to reach the world. Will he be successful? He was a successful businessman at one point in his life. Will his followers follow him into this venture or will they eventually fall away from him? Scarier still, will his followers fall away from the Church in anger? I, for one, will continue to watch and listen, but I stand firm in my faith and in my Church and its decisions.
What has happened to John Corapi? Only he and God know with certitude. Shouldn't he stay and fight for his priesthood with the same fervent desire that he has to speak publicly? We don't know all that goes on or is said behind closed doors, but I find his decision troubling. His fight with Satan has ultimately culminated into an attack on his character and either his submission to the Church, thus silencing him at least for some indefinite amount of time, or his walking away from his vocation, the vocation that gave him life and purpose. Satan has surely won either way. There will be followers of his who will, in their minds, lump this into the sex-abuse scandal and walk away from the Catholic Church altogether. Truly faithful Catholics know it is only the excuse they've been looking for, as the Church is so much more than the people in power...but it is sad all the same.
Christianity was founded on the life, death, and resurrection of Christ. His life was one of humility, His death was one of swift persecution, and His resurrection was God's saving grace. I pray that John Corapi, "The Black Sheep Dog", will continue to live as Christ in humility, though he has been persecuted, and that God continues to send forth grace upon him and his followers. As for the Church and its faithful believers, we will not allow Satan to stand in our way and "the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it."
Matthew 16: 16-23
"Simon Peter said in reply, "You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God." Jesus said to him in reply, "Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah. For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my heavenly Father. And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it. I will give you the keys to the kingdom of heaven. Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven." Then he strictly ordered his disciples to tell no one that he was the Messiah. From that time on, Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer greatly from the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, and be killed and on the third day be raised.
Then Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, "God forbid, Lord! No such thing shall ever happen to you." He turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan! You are an obstacle to me. You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do."
I followed Father John Corapi off and on throughout these past few years...watching and listening. God surely blessed him with the gift of public speaking. If you watch him, he will rarely look at notes or even stumble over a word. I don't think I've even heard him say "um" or "uh", which is hard to do when publicly speaking. The conviction with which he spoke and the decided spirit was something to behold. He did not mince words - I believed in his message about spiritual warfare. I believe spiritual warfare is all around us as we whiz through our lives like spinning tops, bobbling to one side then the next as things slow down, only to be set spinning once again by one of life's peaks or valleys. Father Corapi fought the good fight against evil; against Satan. I have seen firsthand the games Satan and his minions enjoy playing at the expense of our souls. It is serious business.
So, here we are now at the onset of Father's Day weekend and a day away from Trinity Sunday. Coincidentally, Father Corapi was ordained a priest on Trinity Sunday, and he announced today, after twenty years as a priest, that he would be leaving the priesthood due to unproven claims (as of yet) that he was inappropriate in some manner with a woman with whom he worked. He vehemently proclaims his innocence. He says the Bishop would put him in a state of indefinite suspension, and I think the idea of that is intolerable to him. I have read the early blogs that are being written in response to his statement. Many are ready to leave him in the dust as he walks away from his priesthood. I understand that sentiment. He is supposed to submit to the Church and to his Bishop. I too wish his statement had been more from a point of humility. He sounded more like a man of this earth, than a man of the cloth.
This is a man, however, who had at one time been very wealthy - successful, if you will, by our modern standards. He is a go-getter. He's probably not one to stand idle. His latest book, an autobiography, "The Black Sheep Dog", was due to be released soon, so apparently he will be parlaying his ministry from a priestly one to one as a public speaker as the Black Sheep Dog. He says he wants to reach the world. Will he be successful? He was a successful businessman at one point in his life. Will his followers follow him into this venture or will they eventually fall away from him? Scarier still, will his followers fall away from the Church in anger? I, for one, will continue to watch and listen, but I stand firm in my faith and in my Church and its decisions.
What has happened to John Corapi? Only he and God know with certitude. Shouldn't he stay and fight for his priesthood with the same fervent desire that he has to speak publicly? We don't know all that goes on or is said behind closed doors, but I find his decision troubling. His fight with Satan has ultimately culminated into an attack on his character and either his submission to the Church, thus silencing him at least for some indefinite amount of time, or his walking away from his vocation, the vocation that gave him life and purpose. Satan has surely won either way. There will be followers of his who will, in their minds, lump this into the sex-abuse scandal and walk away from the Catholic Church altogether. Truly faithful Catholics know it is only the excuse they've been looking for, as the Church is so much more than the people in power...but it is sad all the same.
Christianity was founded on the life, death, and resurrection of Christ. His life was one of humility, His death was one of swift persecution, and His resurrection was God's saving grace. I pray that John Corapi, "The Black Sheep Dog", will continue to live as Christ in humility, though he has been persecuted, and that God continues to send forth grace upon him and his followers. As for the Church and its faithful believers, we will not allow Satan to stand in our way and "the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it."
Matthew 16: 16-23
"Simon Peter said in reply, "You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God." Jesus said to him in reply, "Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah. For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my heavenly Father. And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it. I will give you the keys to the kingdom of heaven. Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven." Then he strictly ordered his disciples to tell no one that he was the Messiah. From that time on, Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer greatly from the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, and be killed and on the third day be raised.
Then Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, "God forbid, Lord! No such thing shall ever happen to you." He turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan! You are an obstacle to me. You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do."
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